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December 13, 2024

christmas lights


took baby girl to see lights at the mansion. she was screaming when being put in the car seat but she was in a bad mood cuz my sister came over. she screams and cries when she comes over cuz she doesn’t see her enough. she was happier when we got to the mansion. she was bouncing in her stroller it was hard to get her to take pictures. she screamed on her way back to the house. randomly just started screaming. her naps were short yesterday so i didn’t get much alone time. i was super overstimulated and tired yesterday. sometimes it just gets so hard.  i like to be alone. i miss it a lot. baby clings on to me and lot of time i can’t even go pee cuz if i put her down she screams. i should go to the gathering tomorrow my mom said she’d watch her but i just don’t know if i feel like going. it feels awkward going somewhere alone and walking up to people i haven’t seen in like a decade or more. just super awks idk if i can make myself go. i haven’t decided but it’s tomorrow. i know it’d be good to get out but i wish someone could go with me. my sister or something. i’m so hungry but the fucking mom is out there and i just don’t like going in there when she’s there. 

she tried implying my family stole her stupid electrical cords the other night when we were trying to decorate the tree. my
bf asked if she had any for the lights and she got all moody and was like “idk where all my ext cords went it’s been 2 years and no one’s returned them….. she is implying my family used them and took them. but it was me who was borrowing them and we still are in this room. then she took away the christmas ornaments too early when we weren’t even done decorating. i just hate her and i hate living here uncomfortable. i swear when my baby is in preschool or sooner ill get a job and get my own apartment i can’t wait til that old scarecrow dies she’s gonna be alive way too long. i can’t live like this forever 

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