busy // goodbye guinea pigs

so Monday we took my guinea pigs to the shelter to be rehomed :( i am just not able to give them the life they deserve anymore. sophia takes up so much of my time. they have a lady there that builds mazes and tunnels for small animals and she also hides treats for them to find. so it makes me feel better that they’ll be treated kindly and honestly have a better time there than here. it makes me sad cuz i’ve had guinea pigs for around 8 years now. i just couldn’t anymore nor was there room for their big cage. i will always miss them. <\3

we started to move the rooms around and get sophia’s room set up. we painted her room pink today and opened up her little foldable couch thing. our room is finally moved where i said we should have moved it long ago.  got the big tv up on our wall and put the smaller one in her room. 

also went to my brothers office christmas party which was held at the country club. it was so nice they had gifts for all the kids. sophia got an elephant toy that makes noises and plays music. the party was set up really nice. 

today baby girl was not having a good day. she screamed and cried the majority of the day. she fought and screamed and cried hard when i tried to get her in the car seat to get her paint from home depot. we had to hold her down and she was freaking out trying to get out. i didn’t like that at all. i felt so bad but we had to go. she took 1 nap too. bad news. i’m hoping she stays asleep all night but usually with just one nap she wakes up. her body clock must think it’s her second nap of the day. sigh fingers crossed 🤞🏼 

christmas list

laptop

vanity

kat von d lock it foundation powder

kat von d eyeliner 

victoria’s secret red slip

victoria’s secret black silk robe 

clothes

4 door car (i wish)

harley quinn stuff

hair done

christmas lights

took baby girl to see lights at the mansion. she was screaming when being put in the car seat but she was in a bad mood cuz my sister came over. she screams and cries when she comes over cuz she doesn’t see her enough. she was happier when we got to the mansion. she was bouncing in her stroller it was hard to get her to take pictures. she screamed on her way back to the house. randomly just started screaming. her naps were short yesterday so i didn’t get much alone time. i was super overstimulated and tired yesterday. sometimes it just gets so hard.  i like to be alone. i miss it a lot. baby clings on to me and lot of time i can’t even go pee cuz if i put her down she screams. i should go to the gathering tomorrow my mom said she’d watch her but i just don’t know if i feel like going. it feels awkward going somewhere alone and walking up to people i haven’t seen in like a decade or more. just super awks idk if i can make myself go. i haven’t decided but it’s tomorrow. i know it’d be good to get out but i wish someone could go with me. my sister or something. i’m so hungry but the fucking mom is out there and i just don’t like going in there when she’s there. 

she tried implying my family stole her stupid electrical cords the other night when we were trying to decorate the tree. my

bf asked if she had any for the lights and she got all moody and was like “idk where all my ext cords went it’s been 2 years and no one’s returned them….. she is implying my family used them and took them. but it was me who was borrowing them and we still are in this room. then she took away the christmas ornaments too early when we weren’t even done decorating. i just hate her and i hate living here uncomfortable. i swear when my baby is in preschool or sooner ill get a job and get my own apartment i can’t wait til that old scarecrow dies she’s gonna be alive way too long. i can’t live like this forever 

went to christmas parade

went to the bathroom over at walgreens and when we got back the parade was over lol. we even took our time since baby fell asleep in car. bf said 7-9 but it was 7-8. sooo 

got back and baby girl having such a hard time sleeping she just fell asleep 40 mins ago. 

the group chat for bb gathering keeps going off and everyone trying to figure out a time to meet. i still need to talk to my mom about watch baby girl. sigh i hope she doesn’t give a big deal over it and just watched her. this is pretty important for me to go to. it’s healthy for me to get out and see friends. i’m always with my baby indoors unless my bf is home. i need an outing. of course they wanna meet at a restaurant that’s $$$ like what? why not somewhere casual? its not like crazy fancy or anything but its def a step up from like olive garden or something. not all of us have money to spend on expensive cocktails. i’m so classy ill sneak some shooters in my backpack 😭 

sick baby

went out tonight to the thirsty turtle during jamming’ in jensen and had a good time. we ate there and brought sophia. all was good. 

but thennn  when we got home she wouldn’t sleep and was hyper all night then she started to projectile vomit and it landed right back into her face. so we get up and bathe her. she seems all fine then she starts vomiting like  crazy and won’t stop for a moment. i think it’s the fish dip we fed her at the restaurant. we were giving her fish dip and crackers and i guess it made her sick. i hope she’s okay. she is finally asleep now i hope she is okay and isn’t dehydrating or anything. idk?? i’ve never dealt with this with her before but now im worried i didn’t make her drink water after. my poor baby girl :( that was awful. i guess we’ll see in the morning how she does. i hope it’s not like a stomach bug or anything. i just think it’s strange the night she ate the fish dip this happened. going to a christmas parade tomorrow i hope she’s better so she can have fun. 

bb gathering

booked hair appt for a full highlight and cut for Jan 21. she’s so booked up and i can only do tuesdays so i gotta wait a while but that’s okay i might have my sister trim my hair a bit for me in the meantime cuz it’s kinda bad. should have gotten it cut last appt. 

my old school bible baptist 😂 friends are having a gathering on the 14th. i am really hoping my mom will watch sophia cuz id like to attend this. i think it’d be healthy for me to get out and have some time out with old friends i haven’t seen in forever. since high school. now we’re all old and in our 30s with kids it’s gonna be crazy to see everyone. my mom is iffy about watching sophia which kinda makes me mad cuz she made it sound like it’d never be a problem especially when she’s back in her own place which she is. every time i ask now it’s always met with an unhappy tone “we’ll see idk” or “yea i heard you”. i haven’t had a break in so long and im needing one anyway. unfortunately bf can’t watch her cuz he works weekends. so we’ll see and hopefully i’ll be able to attend. 

mon/tues photo dump

10 months

more victim woe is me bs

this morning the mom of course was in a bad mood and complained about my family again saying she’s mad they left everything a mess. they were going to come over on their fucking days off to clean it but she had to barge in like a freakin moose all mad. after she was told NOT to go in bc they were coming to clean the two places. she’s such a bitch she just wants to be mad about something. then she complained about how my family left a bunch of trash in her trash bins but that’s untrue.  it wasn’t much at all. then i overhear ~woe is me i’m such a victim in this world. “why bother getting up in the nornInGgggg.” 🙄 my bf was like telling her to be more positive and she’s like “well you haven’t LiVeD 30 YeArs”……….. my bf is 46 🤣🤣 what a dumb ass. like maybe kill yourself if you’re that unhappy? if you don’t wanna be positive or you’re so miserable in life and you don’t think there is anything worth living for? leave the earth do everyone a favor. like it’s so fucking sad she even says that to her son. her son should be worth living for. she just cares about herself but now that i think about it that makes me so sad he has her as a mom who says shit like this. she’s such a poor old lady victim who has been thru ohhhhsooo much hardships In HeR LiFe. she doesn’t do shit and she was handed money that she won’t admit. she acts like she worked so hard as a fucking dental assistant for 30 years (must be obsessed with the number 30) and has all this money. i don’t buy it i believe she was left money from her parents or some shit. no one she has that much from working as an assistant. she was spoiled growing up too is what it sounds like from stories. she’s such a fucking hard working victim tho boohoo. what started the whole bs this morning was when she went into sophia’s to be room and saw so much stuff to be done. like. this isn’t your project or your business?!? why are you getting so flustered by it. get your ugly furniture out of there and stay out. it’s literally my bf and my project for our baby. she’s over here getting overwhelmed and angry by it. then complains about my family again. move on and get over it. that’s what bf told her. i told him this is whyyyyy i don’t wanna live here. never know when old bag is gonna be in a sour mood. it’s uncomfortable for me. imagine like when you were at your friends house and they start arguing with their siblings or the parents start arguing. it’s uncomfortable as fuck to be around someone’s parent who is in a bad mood all the time. so after sophia’s nap i’m going to my moms.