Sophia met Mum

my grandma aka Mum got to meet Sophia on Monday. we met her out at the park and it was super hot outside. my bf doesn’t think sometimes man. we we looking for a place to sit and visit that was covered from the sun. so he picks a pavilion with a weird, homeless guy. i kept trying to tell him to sit at the empty one on the right but he kept going with the stroller where the weird guy was. yep. he was weird. listening to some weird, loud videos like super loud. weird, inappropriate sounding violence. 

anyway Mum got to see Sophia and she gave us this old child school desk she’s had forever. passed down from her kids who wrote their names on it. to me who wrote my name on it and my sister writing hers and her friends. so it’s special and she wanted to pass it on to sophia. then she went to dinner with my brother, sister and her bf at my fav restaurant. so we asked them to order us meals to go. 

so there was some slight drama over here at the old Dyer property. I’m gonna do a talk to text since my hands aren’t free right now. OK, so I wanted a space for Sophia and I thought that we could clear the dining room table away since no one goes in there and nobody uses it and turn it into a playroom. Well, the mom and him said the table is too big to move and they don’t have anywhere to put it. So the mom ~moved stuff around~ to make room, but it’s a low-grade attempt. All she did was turn a small table sideways instead of long ways and some other small things that are not noticeable. so she asks my mom yesterday while we were on our way out to walk, if we think the space is good enough. My mom was like, actually no it’s not and that’s when I walked outside with Sophia. i didn’t wanna hear the drama. My boyfriend comes outside and says how awkward that was, apparently my mom wasn’t “very nice”. 

so last night, bf and I were kind of arguing about it and he was saying he was really close to telling my mom off for being rude to his mom like that yesterday. Saying my mom is getting on his nerves with her attitude. Basically my mom has been taking new medication for bipolar disorder (sounds familiar) and told me a week ago how she feels like it’s turning her mean. She’s also very stressed out about moving out in a few months and feels like there’s a lot of pressure. So I think she’s just really stressed and on new medication, she definitely has been moody and snappy even with me, with everything. So once again, house has been a little tense. While I can’t stand the mom and actually probably hate her. My mom shouldn’t have been so rude if she was. I understand they can’t move the table, but I do feel like they should make way more effort to make this house, baby friendly, and more livable. Because as of right now, it’s very dark, very dusty, very cluttered and claustrophobic. It’s super depressing here and not a happy place to raise baby. So things really do need to change here drastically. it just made my mom mad that it feels like Sophia is not a priority in this house. I agree. Every time the mom does something she says she did because she wants to help and be nice is always super low-grade half assed effort. Pathetic effort.  maybe I’m just not grateful but it feels really lame. Like when she made me a corner of the kitchen and said she cleared the space out for me and it was not even 4 inches worth of space. It’s just sad at that point. then when she painted the kitchen a color, me and my bf were trying to get her to paint she slapped the paint on very poorly. It’s already chipping away really badly. It’s just always really low effort. Like if I were to do something nice I would go all out. Make sure it’s perfect. Make sure it’s nice. Make sure it’s worth it. but that’s just me. 

so fuck it, i’m gonna just keep making that low grade attempt at more space super filled up. i plan on getting a kids tent that looks pink that can fit me and baby girl. fill it up make it a cute spot just for my baby. i’m gonna get one that completely blocks everything. i’ll add a mat there too for her to practice crawling later. i’ll just have to bully my way again like i did the kitchen.