5 months

happy 5 months baby girl 

your new milestones so far:

sleeping thru the night (most of the time)

lots of new sounds and talking

can reach your own toes

eating purée foods

holding spoon and trying to feed yourself 

sitting up with some support

strong ass head game

eating oats in bottle 

happier

can roll over 

RIP Macy

“weekend” summed up in pics

sophia’s first time on the swings

 she did well but about 5 mins later she was crying to get out. after that we let her sit up in the front seat while we parked and ate our lunch. she got lots of compliments at the store. 

this is before i used clarifying shampoo to rid hard water build up that dulls hair

and this is after using the aveeno apple cider vinegar one

i know the lighting is better outside but there is a difference in shade 

random thoughts before bed

i remember the most random of things. i remember how my dad use to always have these WOW christian cds for every year. i’m listening to some of the years and tracks on the cds that i can remember. some of the songs are straight up ~bops~ as me and my sister say. my sister and i screen shot songs we think are “bops” and will send them to each other and say “a bop” some of these songs could also mean a woman instead of god. like “you lift me up cuz I’m your soul” lmao i made that up 😭 . but lyrics like that could means a girl or God. so some of these bands i wonder if they are secret christians. some bands i like have lyrics that could be considered christian or whatever. like Emery or Anberlin. i also heard they were christian bands. . but the lyrics from daddy’s little peach by Emery make me wonder. i just can’t tell. “there are better ways to your knees.” i read that as you can pray instead of being in your knees to give a blowy. there are better ways to your knees, like praying. idk but bands that have lyrics similar. what are you singing about??? 😭 i think some bands are signed to christian labels but don’t consider themselves christian. i think like MXPX and stuff. tooth and nail i think it’s called. christian label. so some of the bands i like are signed to them. idk if it’s cuz they ARE christian bands or they fit the definition of “christian bands”. 

sidetrack thought: bobby hill getting involved in that christian skater group. hank was pissed about it but it’s funny how back then. christian rock was such a thing i grew up in it thanks to my dad lmao. 

so funny too cuz these christian bands i grew up on had members that flirted with me thru myspace back then. one of my faves growing up and still have some good songs in my opinion today was saying how pretty i was thru myspace. i remember i use to be a camera slut. id take pics of myself all the time. so if Zunes are remembered i had one. i took of a pic of me listening to one too these christian bands on my zune and flirted with one of the christian bands singers 😭. so fucking funny. anyways i could go on and on… lmao but  i am thinking too much and need to sleep in case baby girl wakes up early. 

i woke up way too early and am not getting much sleep today i guess. my brain is fired up again and i am just thinking… what baffles me is how life works. how do people who work their asses off in life and still have nothing are shit on. while rich/well off people and rich/well off people who are bad people get to live it up? my bf believes in karma but where’s karma been? where you at? i swear rich/well off people don’t live in the real world. they absolutely don't. i’ve watched people’s livestreams on tiktok who are rich e-beg for money from regular joes. sitting there, doing nothing but begging for “gifts” and likes that turn into real money. like??? you’re begging us peasants for more money when you HAVE money. and the regular joes SEND THEM that money just to get noticed. it’s so sad man. there is a huge circle of them also sending each other those gifts back and forth to higher their rankings in who is the most popular. it’s pretty fucking sick. they sit there, have no talent, no social skills and just send each other hundreds and thousands worth of money back and forth because they’re rich and can just throw money around. i mean i struggle to pay to get my hair done or my car fixed that would equal to the amount that gets thrown at them. so then they have regular people sending them money after begging and telling them to “smash that like”. it’s absolutely insane. these people i swear aren’t on the same planet as the rest of us. my mom has worked her ass off all of her life. hard at work to raise 3 of us and still helps us. my mom is a really good hearted person and will do anything for her kids. so she’ll always be there for us to help us with things we need. even just things we want, when she has nothing right now. goes to show you what kind of person she is. my mom left her small home town in Indiana to start boot camp to better her life. she said she didn’t wanna be a waitress all of her life and left at 18 years old to join the navy. then at 18 when she joined boot camp, her dad dies of a heart attack and found out AT BOOT CAMP!  like that’s real life shit. my mom has been cheated on by my dad. screwed over financially because he was an alcoholic. i’m sure that changed a part of her and has left trauma in her soul. so my mom who works hard, has been shit on and is still working hard to this day, is living like she is right now? how is that fair? i decided one night to look up my father and his wife. they live in a fucking mansion. huge yard that looks like a forest to be encasing it. living it up in this gigantic home. i remember when my father told me “money isn’t what it use to be” when. i asked him for help when i burnt all my hair off. that’s fucking hysterical and i’m not laughing. he worked hard to have this life sure, but he’s a bad person. money isn’t what it use to be so what you have 1 less million now? why does he get to have this fantastic new life, new wife who has 3 kids of her own, in this mansion who has done nothing but traumatize me and leave my mind, body and soul scarred for the rest of my life? my mom, who a good person, will do everything for me and still does, lives in my bfs house in a small room here. yet my dad who claims money isn’t what it use to be, completely abandoned me as a newborn for starters. left my mom with me, never paid for anything, never helped my mom, never sent money. was just non existent in my life until i was 22. then wants to form a relationship with me to do horrible things to me and leave me with forever lasting trauma? we just gonna sweep it under the rug and act like it never happened?  i guess so. i don’t think i even need to say what happened. i’ve been dealing with this for years and years since i was 22 years old. swept it under the rug. we act normal whenever we do talk which is hardly ever. as if everything is fucking normal. it’s far from normal. so somebody like that is living their life to the fullest in their mansion. no concern for money or bills. it just doesn’t make sense if karma is a real thing. i’ll never understand people with money. they think they can do whatever they want, no consequences. no rules apply to them. they live in their own worlds and the real world does not exist to them. the real struggles people face daily isn’t a thing to them. back to tiktok people… people like them will make content around money without awareness are the same people ebegging us for money and fame. it’s really just super gross. it’s unbelievable. would i trade money and fame, (well money, i wouldn’t want fame) for the good things i have that are not materialistic? no. i wouldn’t change who i am for money nor would i want to live a life where all i do is sit online asking people for money all day without friends or real family. because from the ones that i have seen don’t have true friends. don’t have good family. so maybe they don’t have it all. idk. i know life is unfair and blah blah. but man can it really be just that. i know material items don’t matter in the end but it sure would take huge stress off. i just don’t understand why things are the way they are. thats life i guess. 

boyfriend went to play his show at the tattoo convention. he said he’ll be back by 9:30ish tonight. sophia is now rolling over. she’s getting older so fast and doing so much more every day. learning new skills every week. so she’s rolling over now which means i can’t leave her alone on the bed anymore. i would normally leave her on the bed to go get a bottle or something quick but can no longer do that. can’t risk her rolling off. so she has a walker/seat she sits in when i go and grab bottles. it’s getting harder to change diapers and change clothes because she keeps rolling away and trying to flip around. it’s like wrangling an alligator. my tiny girl is not so tiny anymore. we got out a mat so she can practice rolling and crawling on it. we just took the mat from this playpen we just opened up yesterday. 

so i have what they call “blonde anorexia” where my hair isn’t blonde enough ever. i wish i could just have all on bleach blonde hair but its just too damaging and im too allergic to the bleach to let it on my scalp in any way. my stylist Ashley uses bleach when she does my highlights but it never touches the scalp when doing highlights. maybe i can talk to her and tell her how i feel about it. we’ve become friends so i think she can hook me up. i also may need to figure out saving money kinda faster cuz i want to get it done ever 2 months AT LEAST. cuz ever end of the 3rd month is too long so it feels darker cuz i don’t go as often. if i went every month it would be soooo blonde but my hair grows so fast. i’m afraid of losing all the bleach blonde hair when it grows out as i trim. 😭 yea ill talk to her about it and what she can do. i also NEED that Malibu C shampoo to get rid of mineral deposits in my hair from the shower water (hard water). i still wanna put pink in my hair but wanna wait til i go back next month for a mini partial. all i can afford at the moment. 

rant time

been a stressful week. 650.00 later my bfs vehicle is fixed. my mom is depressed and talking to my dad about moving the fuck out of here. she told him it’s not been good at all staying here and it’s time to move out and have her own place that she’s dying to have. the housing prices just won’t go down and it’s time to say fuck it and work out moving out. i think she stayed longer though mostly to help me with my baby. honestly its only way im comfortable being here. when she moves i wont be. i told her i hardly wanna stay here too with my bfs weird ass mom. fucking whacko. she had something else to complain over today. it’s always something. like i said biggest fucking baby i’ve ever had to displeasure of knowing. she’s such a fucking child at 70+ it’s embarrassing. she came in the room while i was cleaning my guinea pigs cage so already it wasn’t the time to come in the room with everyone already in there and me cleaning. she has to comeeeee in to see sophia and be obnoxious and in the way with no concern for me or anyone else that she might be in the way of. she’s soooo obsessed with this stupid fucking chair. every time she’s talking to my baby she’s like “and maybe you can use that chair” everyyyy. timeeee. she pushed me to put her in it a week ago. like it was obvious i didn’t want her to put sophia in it and she insisted and im too meek to say anything so i angrily do it. so she put her in it and last week and put it on the bed too. she put my baby in it and then just leaves. ???? you wanted to see her in it so fucking bad yet you leave after? so i got her out right away cuz i didn’t want her in it and my baby is like getting kinda stuck. cuz the chair is too small. i took the chair and put it back out of our bedroom. so back to today. she brings up the stupid chair again. my mom got so mad and irritated by it she left the room and went outside. i went outside with her and i could hear sophia crying. my bf and his mom were in the room and the mom annoyingly gets the chair and when she tried putting it on the bed my bf got mad. he told her not to put chairs on the bed cuz it’s dirty to and she was all ~boohoo~ again “no one uses what i buy for her they always use everything else” then he snapped back about it and said “also don’t put your fingers in my sophia’s mouth!” FINALLY. i’ve told him to tell her this so many times. the last week she did it again. i’m really needing to get a backbone and start being assertive. i really do for my baby’s sake. so my baby grabs the moms hand and tries to eat her finger and the mom just lets her and asks her if it taste good. !!!!!!!! i’m like “noo…” and i tried to pull my baby away. it felt so uncomfortable. like i was trapped in an uncomfortable situation and was too afraid to say something. it feels so fucking gross and violating. it’s absolutely gross but what’s also fucked is that she does this and thinks it’s okay. in front of me too. like??? that’s disrespectful to me to just put your fingers in someone’s babies mouth like that is fucking gross, weird and disrespectful to the parent. you don’t just go around doing that to people. so why do it to a baby? so my bf scolded her about it and she goes “well i guess that’s just your parents ways” as if she has her own parenting ways and she’s fine with it. like no shit he’s her father. he has a say in it. she got all offended and huffy puffy he told me. she’s such a weirdo bitch i hate her. 

she is also obsessed with constantly bringing up these sandals that are for 4 years olds that she bought sophia. she is constantly hinting around and bringing them up. SHE CANT WEAR THEM YOU DOLT. like does this hag ever look at sizing?? it says they’re for toddlers on the shoes. my baby can’t fucking wear them. she’s just shy of 5 months old. i swear she’s so stupid. she obsessively rings up these things cuz she wants praise and attention for buying stuff for baby. then gets super offended and mad when we don’t or can’t use them. like we never asked you to buy this stuff. this is on your own free will. she always does that. she’ll do “nice” things for people when they didn’t ask for it and gets upset she didn’t get the ass kissing she thinks she deserves for ~going out of her way~ to be nice. nobody asked you to. 

so tonight she’s all mad saying we took too long to use the things she got us and is mad we’re using the one our friends got us off our registry. like i’m not sorry i don’t want the used one you got from a yard sale. i’m not sorry that my baby wasn’t ready for it when you bought it cuz she couldn’t sit up well enough with assistance yet. i’m not sorry that my baby is now ready to sit with assistance and can’t use it cuz she’s bigger than your average 4 month old. like that’s too bad and sounds like a you problem. 

always whoa is me. always mad about something that didn’t go your way. always a big fucking baby about MY baby. the way she acts is like a 7 year old. it’s sooooooo embarrassing i just can’t. i told my bf  “i don’t like your mom. i never will either and that’s on her. she brought that on herself”. 

every day i go out in the kitchen to grab a bottle and all i hear blasting from her ipad is “pedophile… rapist… president carter and blah blah blah”. she always listening to weird shit about human trafficking and pedos and how every celebrity is a pedo. like who fucking cares. it’s out there, we know. i also don’t want my baby hearing that garbage either. she thinks donald trump is the savior to fix all problems. she tonight was going on about spies and devils or whatever idk. like this my friends is a lady who would kill us all in the night. i feel like this old lady would hire someone to kill all of us in our sleep. if someone she listened to online said she needed to kill us all to “better the world” or whatever she thinks she’d do it. if trump told people to kill their families she’d do it. she makes me uncomfortable as fuck. i don’t wanna be here. my family doesn’t want to be here or leave me here cuz they know how miserable the mom makes

me and everyone she comes in contact with. she bullies me in a way too cuz she knows i won’t be assertive. i need to learn to be though. i can’t live like this and i won’t let this bitch bully me out of here. i have a family here with her son and with a baby now. she can learn to live with ME, not the other way around. as long as she doesn’t kill us. 

tired of it. tired of her passive aggressiveness aimed at

me when she talks to my baby. she talks to my baby and says shit like “you need to come out of the rooom more your mom likes to keep the door closed so i don’t hear you”. like shit like that aimed at me. says it in front of me but as if she’s talking to sophia. it’s so WEIRD. like help!!! this is why i’m miserable. i never want to leave the bedroom. i sneak around to get bottles and food cuz i don’t wanna interact with her. it’s so awful. i wish she’d go away. at least go on a weekend trip like she use to once a year. just. goooo awayyyyy. for more than just 5 minutes. when i see the car gone i run to the kitchen and grab what i need. sometimes i get excited about it and start doing extra stuff and she manages to come home right when im doing something. so i have to hurry up and go back to the room so i don’t have to talk to senior psychopath. 

ugh always something.

sooo tonight was interesting and a lot. while bf was cooking dinner and i was back and forth helping and washing bottles, i decided i wanted a milkshake so damn bad. so i asked my bro if he wanted to go to Sonic and get milkshakes. we took my bfs vehicle cuz it was parked behind mine and it would be easier to just take his. so as we’re pulling out of the housing area his car starts making weird sounds. we figured it was just the AC being annoying cuz it makes a noise sometimes. kept hearing it on and off on the way to Sonic. so we get there and all the sudden shit is loud af. so we turn off the car and waiting for the milkshakes to come. after we get them the car gets turned on and LOUD, bad noises coming from it like a belt issue and loud squealing. i’ve heard this sound in other cars before in the road and i can hear it still in my head. the wheel stops working and we can’t accelerate anymore. smoke starts coming from the hood of the car and we can no longer drive. we were stuck at a stop sign in the plaza on the road. couldn’t just make it to a parking spot, we had to have it die right there. so we turned the emergency lights on and sat there. yup i just ate my milkshake and had some french fries. while people kept going around us. i was in no position to wanna get out because i was wearing platform black boots, sleep shorts, tshirt and messy mom ponytail i hadn’t brushed all day 😭 i called my bf and told him. he was mad about this. he ended up having his mom take him over to us since we obviously had his car. my mom is watching sophia thank god. thank god she wasn’t with us that would have been a nightmare. i called my sister and told her and she had her bf who loves to fix cars and always helps us out call my bf and they talked about it. my bfs mom has AAA and they said they were experiencing high volume of customs right now so they’d call when there would be someone available. they never called for like over an hour. finally we decided to go home and wait for the call. i was working on putting baby to bed and he ended up canceling the AAA request because they took so long. he scheduled an appt instead for the morning between 8-10:30. so the vehicle is still in the KFC parking lot where my bf left it. i don’t like that cuz my babies stuff is in there. also i hope he shut the hood. i think he did. i think they left to go do that while i was here putting baby to bed. so i hope this shit can get fixed cuz fuck. my bf is going down to West Palm on friday for a tattoo convention his band is playing at. so like hopefully he can get that all fixed and situated. i mean i guess it’s better to have the vehicle fuck up now instead of friday. we told him we’d give him some hundred bucks toward it since we did use it often when my car was unable to be in use. 

tonight was a lot and didn’t go as planned but at least baby girl was in a pleasant mood all night. 

my crazy girl

father’s day

so for father’s day the day went well. we let baby girl paint for the first time. we got these heart magnets, non toxic washable paint and set her up in high chair. my mom guided her hand and we tried to make hand prints but since her hands are always on a fist for the most part, it didn’t work out. so we just slid her hand across the canvas lol. i took pics of her painting

and my sister and mom went to get them printed up at walgreens. bf came home from work early and i hadn’t finished the gifts yet. so i had to cut the pics and paste them on in the room next door so he wouldn’t see. my mom got him a 50.00 gift card and picked out a card. 

then we went to yum yum hot pot and had some ramen and sake. my sister dropped us off and picked us up. now here’s where the night turned kinda ugly…

she dropped us off at the bar to meet paige for a couple drinks. told my mom i’d be home at 11pm. everything was fun. i had a good time with paige and bf. but i do not remember leaving the bar, getting home, who picked me up or anything. i woke up to throw up in my hair, baby asleep in bassinet and my clothes and makeup on but fishnets and underwear off. ???? thank god sophia was asleep cuz i showered and washed the throw up out of my hair. i talked to my mom and my mom said she was furious. she said she’ll never watch sophia again. aka i can never go out to drink again. she said i came home and passed out after saying i hate my life. she was mad cuz she said bf and paige were outside and i was passed out in here and she wasn’t sure if anyone would hear baby cries.  

so what happened was i drank normal like i usually do. i’m not sure how i got so black out drunk. my bf and i had the same amount of drinks too. i had 3 vodka cranberries but i also had 3 shots. so i guess shots are a big no for me now. this kinda happened last time i went out i was hammered cuz my bfs friend/ band mates gf kept buying me shots. so i am not gonna do shots anymore. still pretty weird tho to be blacked out over that. i’ve drank way worse and way more in the past and been drunk but not black out. i haven’t been black out drunk in a few years. not sure really what happened there. my bf said he went in and got sophia and put her in her bassinet. he and paige went on the porch and paige passed out. he said he put a blanket on her and checked on me and i had thrown up all in my hair. he said he got mad at me cuz i wouldn’t get up to wash it out. he said i told him i was too drunk to get up and i just rolled in my hair over and passed out. he said he then got up at 4am and paige left. i will never let that happen again. i do not like being so drunk i black out and don’t remember shit. that’s bad. bad new bears. i’ve said this a million times i do not like being so intoxicated i cannot handle my baby. that’s bad. i obviously had no intentions of getting like that. my intentions were to have a couple drinks, come home at 11, put baby to bed and have a couple more cocktails at home with my bf for father’s day and spend romantic time. clearly that did not happen. so my mom said she was so mad but when i talked to her she got more worried than mad. she said it’s weird that happened and i need to make sure it isn’t diabetic related. she said i need to get to the dr asap and figure that out. which is true. i need to go and find a new dr and do that because when i failed that postpartum glucose test my blood sugar was thru the roof. they told me to test blood and and bring results to dr. i still haven’t. willl work on finding a new dr this week. 

but anyway yea. i’m embarrassed and i feel shitty for that happening. no more shots for me. i don’t go out as often anymore and if i do it’s for a reason. like a birthday, celebration or whatever. but after last night im done with alcohol for a while. i got it all out of my system (literally) and im done. this saturday ill prob have a beer or 2 at paulseidons house. he’s having a party for someone and he’s cooking out so we’re bringin sophia. she loved the memorial day when we took her over there. she got to meet everyone and she was so good. she’ll be 5 months old in 2 weeks. i hope she keeps getting better and better about it. 

early morning thoughts

sophia is still asleep believe it or not. of course i already got her bottle out an hour and a half ago and you’re supposed to dump unrefrigerated formula after 2 hours unused. wasted 1 last night too cuz i thought she’d need it to help her sleep but she fell asleep after i already warned one up. formula is expensive and i hate wasting it ugh. 

so i can’t sleep anymore and i wish i could but when my mind picks up a topic is keeps on keeping on with it for a long time until something new comes up to interrupt. so lately i have been thinking how i sometimes wish i could either go back in time or start new. i want to go back to my government name and i wish “kaley” never existed. sometimes. after having a baby it made me rethink to just be ME. growing up my nickname from my real name was always “kat”. i mean, my best friend sophia still calls me kat to this day. my teachers called my kat. i hated it.  my mom, dads, brother and sister don’t call me kaley either. i didn’t like being called kat but now that i am older i wish i stuck with it meeting new people. i didn’t land on kaley until 2004. in 2004 i started using the internet a lot. like a LOT. i was super obsessed with livejournal and myspace and didn’t want anyone to know info about me. so i made “kaley” happen a play on names kat. leigh and after that i introduced myself to new people as kaley. i met livejournal friends that knew me as kaley from the internet. it stuck. it stuck so hard my future boyfriend and new found family call me kaley. so how can i go back to being kat? how can i go back to being who i am without big explanations every time i see my friends now. ugh lol i just miss my real name. while i go by my real name legally everyday like to real shit. i wish i introduced myself as me. i still don’t put out my entire, full government name for the world to see but kat is part of it.i miss it but i guess kaley will always be a part of me too. love and hate it

Sophia met Mum

my grandma aka Mum got to meet Sophia on Monday. we met her out at the park and it was super hot outside. my bf doesn’t think sometimes man. we we looking for a place to sit and visit that was covered from the sun. so he picks a pavilion with a weird, homeless guy. i kept trying to tell him to sit at the empty one on the right but he kept going with the stroller where the weird guy was. yep. he was weird. listening to some weird, loud videos like super loud. weird, inappropriate sounding violence. 

anyway Mum got to see Sophia and she gave us this old child school desk she’s had forever. passed down from her kids who wrote their names on it. to me who wrote my name on it and my sister writing hers and her friends. so it’s special and she wanted to pass it on to sophia. then she went to dinner with my brother, sister and her bf at my fav restaurant. so we asked them to order us meals to go. 

so there was some slight drama over here at the old Dyer property. I’m gonna do a talk to text since my hands aren’t free right now. OK, so I wanted a space for Sophia and I thought that we could clear the dining room table away since no one goes in there and nobody uses it and turn it into a playroom. Well, the mom and him said the table is too big to move and they don’t have anywhere to put it. So the mom ~moved stuff around~ to make room, but it’s a low-grade attempt. All she did was turn a small table sideways instead of long ways and some other small things that are not noticeable. so she asks my mom yesterday while we were on our way out to walk, if we think the space is good enough. My mom was like, actually no it’s not and that’s when I walked outside with Sophia. i didn’t wanna hear the drama. My boyfriend comes outside and says how awkward that was, apparently my mom wasn’t “very nice”. 

so last night, bf and I were kind of arguing about it and he was saying he was really close to telling my mom off for being rude to his mom like that yesterday. Saying my mom is getting on his nerves with her attitude. Basically my mom has been taking new medication for bipolar disorder (sounds familiar) and told me a week ago how she feels like it’s turning her mean. She’s also very stressed out about moving out in a few months and feels like there’s a lot of pressure. So I think she’s just really stressed and on new medication, she definitely has been moody and snappy even with me, with everything. So once again, house has been a little tense. While I can’t stand the mom and actually probably hate her. My mom shouldn’t have been so rude if she was. I understand they can’t move the table, but I do feel like they should make way more effort to make this house, baby friendly, and more livable. Because as of right now, it’s very dark, very dusty, very cluttered and claustrophobic. It’s super depressing here and not a happy place to raise baby. So things really do need to change here drastically. it just made my mom mad that it feels like Sophia is not a priority in this house. I agree. Every time the mom does something she says she did because she wants to help and be nice is always super low-grade half assed effort. Pathetic effort.  maybe I’m just not grateful but it feels really lame. Like when she made me a corner of the kitchen and said she cleared the space out for me and it was not even 4 inches worth of space. It’s just sad at that point. then when she painted the kitchen a color, me and my bf were trying to get her to paint she slapped the paint on very poorly. It’s already chipping away really badly. It’s just always really low effort. Like if I were to do something nice I would go all out. Make sure it’s perfect. Make sure it’s nice. Make sure it’s worth it. but that’s just me. 

so fuck it, i’m gonna just keep making that low grade attempt at more space super filled up. i plan on getting a kids tent that looks pink that can fit me and baby girl. fill it up make it a cute spot just for my baby. i’m gonna get one that completely blocks everything. i’ll add a mat there too for her to practice crawling later. i’ll just have to bully my way again like i did the kitchen. 

4 month dr visit

sophia had her 4 month pediatrician visit today + more immunizations. she weighs a whopping 17.7 lbs and is 25 inches long. she’s a lot bigger than average and is super healthy. we talked to the pediatrician about adding oatmeal to her formula because she is just always hungry but it feels like i keep giving her too much formula cuz she’s never full long. she gave us the okay and said we don’t need it necessarily for nutrition cuz she’s already getting all she needs. also we are switching back to level 1 bottle tops she told me it’s better for her still because the 2’s get the formula to her belly too fast which results in more spitting up. so dialing it back to level ones and she said she should be eating 4 or 5 ounces. i told her i only do 6oz in the morning then the rest of the day is 4 and the evening is 5, not 6 oz every meal. so we’re gonna try the oatmeal in her formula and see if it keeps her full longer instead of constantly drinking so much formula. she was complimented on her head game. her head is strong and she holds it up super well. she also told us about her eating purées and solid foods next visit at 6 months old. i can’t wait cuz that’s gonna be so fun having her try different real foods. she was so good at her visit today. she wasn’t even mad i woke her up early. she talked and talked on the way to her appointment. was really good at the dr. she cried when she got the shots but stopped crying immediately after picking her up. 

this little boy came up to us and in a shy little voice asked “why is she here today?” i told him she was getting her check up. he’s like “is that why her nose is red?” lol i said “no but she got her shots today” hes like “is it cuz she was crying?” i said yeaa:( lol 

we took her to the park after and i held her so she could touch the trees and feel the branches. she saw some ducks,  turtle, lots of different birds and then she got fussy and screamed her head off on the way back.