unfortunately more ranting

so called the dr office back and they said i need to keep track of ny blood sugar and i was told to keep doing the same stuff i was doing when i was pregnant. eat the same diet and check blood sugars as usual. then go go to my primary care doctor and show them the documented results and see what they say. i am well diet controlled so i doubt ill need any kind of insulin for that. the faster numbers on the other hand, idk if they’re important still or what but those are still high. so i might need to take insulin every night before bed idk. we’ll see what the primary care doctor says, well when i find a new one. my old one i had since i was 16 moved. i don’t think i have diabetes but i am pre diabetic for sure due to having hormonal imbalances with pcos. 

the AC battle continues with the mental patient aka joes mom. ew i never call my bf by his name lol anyways the battle commences. i just went out there and turned it back down to 77. im so pissed off because my bf talked to her last night about turning the AC down for sophia and that we’d give her money for it. he said she agreed without drama. okay so what’s the fucking story now then? she didn’t even keep it at the deal 77. she had it at 78 yesterday. why is she so fucking afraid to put it down? so last night i was in a bad mood and i told him what bothered me and one of the things was the AC still being at 78 not 77. he said he’d turn it down and so he did. i went out there this morning at 4:44am to get a bottle and it was back to 78. now 80. what is the problem here???? i just went and turned it back to 77 and shut the back door. what the fuck. i texted him telling him i had to drop it down to 77 again. 80 is fucking ridiculous. everyone knows florida is too fucking hot. 80 is insane. she just bought a bunch of bags of mulch which i know wasn’t cheap. so she’ll buy all that but is worried about the AC bill? nah i don’t think it has anything to do with money sometimes. i think it’s a control issue. well i’m not playing this game. i’ve never met someone her age so fucking immature in my life. you wanna spend more time with my baby? then care more about her health instead of yourself and your weird issues. she will no longer be in the house if you keep it to an unhealthy temperature when you have the means to keep it cooler. psycho dude. this woman is so mentally ill i don’t wanna be around it. i feel like my posts are just me bitching about her every time now. she’s turned me so angry and negative i just am miserable. i just do not want to live here if she’s going to be here. she either needs to go to a home, a mental hospital or to die. i hate to say it cuz i would never want my bf to be sad by losing his mom but you’re telling me i have to live like this til she croaks? i’ll be in my 50s. 

she put a new nasty bowl in the kitchen sink and i was hoping she’d just forgo it since i threw it out. but who was i kidding the obsession with asking where it was for 2 days should have indicated to me it’ll be back. gross. i will never understand the need for it. you have a dishwasher. you have a sink. you have soap. wash the shit and put them away. my bf scolded me and told me i need to be respectful of her stuff which is probably true even if it’s gross. but i get so angry because its so stupid. she’s stupid. i think she really is just plain stupid. 0 common or logical sense man. how am i gonna continue living here? i want to live with my bf and my baby as a family. but i just hate being here. i feel stuck. i feel angry all the time about it. idk what to do. i need to get married. when i’m married i have full say in what goes on with anything i feel. 

i wish i had a place to go and escape. just take sophia and just be away but since my mom is still struggling i have no other place. my hair is coming out a lot too and i read it has to do with postpartum stuff. it has to be stress too cuz im stressed out all the time to the max.