bad day

so yesterday wasn’t the greatest um my brother came in saying how he had a bad pain on his side. he tried sleeping it off but he said the pain was intense and traveled to his back. he threw up and felt super hot. i told him he should go to the hospital so my mom ended up having to take him. he got checked out there and he was told he has kidney stone. my mom was updating me. i felt so bad cuz of what i hear about kidney stones and how absolutely painful they are. i was trying to take care of sophia during this which was hard to be happy and playful with her cuz i was worried about my brother. sophia was so much yesterday. constantly needing to be held or she’d cry idk what was going on but maybe she sensed my worry. my sister came here and was helping me with her. i was on 3 hours of sleep so i was so tired. to top it all off. during bath time my mom and brother came home. he said he got 2 pain meds and has to just wait for the stone to pass through. he said the dr said it was small so he may not even realize it’s gone. i hope that’s the case cuz the stories i’ve heard sound excruciating. 

last night was rough at bed time for sophia.  bath time was great we let her lounge in the bath for 20 mins instead of her usual fast baths and she passed out before i could get her jammies on. it didn’t last long tho. she woke up screaming in my face and ear was almost inconsolable. every time i’d put her down after she fell asleep she’d wake up screaming. i finally just put her next to me and i was passing out but i want her to sleep in her own bed at night. so i forced myself to try and move her back to her bed but big mistake that was. i moved her and screaaaaammmmm. i almost cried at this point cuz i was so tired and had such a long stressful day. my mom ended up helping me and when she went down she went down. i passed out after and am about to sleep more since she’s got her morning feed. 

tonight i think im going to my bfs show. he has 2. one tonight and one next week, so i picked out one to go to and am skipping the next cuz i don’t like leaving sophia too much.  especially when i just went out last week for friends bday. i always feel so bad leaving and this shows in vero too. i don’t like being further away. but it was okay at the show in fort lauderdale we went to. which is further. still i feel guilty everytime even though i shouldn’t.