ongggg so annoyed again at the damn mom bothering me about “helping”. so my mom was talking to bfs mom and tryi bc to explain to her i do not like her hinting by being like “if you need a break i can take sophia for a while”. i HATE IT. cuz she just wants to hold her that’s all. fine. but stop hinting. so my mom tried explaining this to her saying ill respond better if she just asks. say “hey, can i hold her i haven’t held her in a while” and ill either say yes or no. but ill respond better if she just comes out and asks. his moms like “well im not very assertive”. my mom kept trying and trying to explain and get her to just start asking. but nah. today instead she just forces… i was making coffee and popcorn this morning and she’s like “im gonna help you today.” i’m like “no im fine its ok” she’s like “well im gonna help you. not right now but later…” so i said “im fine tho” and walked back to room while she was still talking. ??????????? so you’re gonna try another way that’s even worse than hinting. you can try 50 new ways at this but i won’t let you. not with this BS. don’t try to force help onto me. like, i’ve had her take sophia and hold her cuz i cave in and let her when i don’t want her to cuz im too nice. and i just end up sitting here with nothing to do. my baby is my life now. she’s what gives me things to do all day. without her i just sit here. so when she takes her i’m just sitting here like ok when is she gonna bring her back to me. i shouldn’t ever feel this way.
sophia is my baby. if i didn’t ever want her to hold my baby i have the right to do so and as much as it sucks grandma over there should respect it and understand it. i get you wanna hold her cuz she’s so cute but dude you always bring her back when she screams. that isn’t helping me. when i went to the store with my brother the other day, sophia was screaming her head off with her dad and what does his mom do? she goes on the porch and shuts the door so she doesn’t hear it. bro that was your prime time to go hold her and ~hELP~. wtf ?????? this is why i hate being here. i hate living here. if she wasn’t here id love it. but this is why i can’t wait til my mom is able to move out so i can leave here during the day. i hate it here with her here. afraid she’ll interject herself every second sophia cries or i go in the kitchen. so i try to go in the kitchen secretly when she’s not there. i try to avoid that woman any chance i get.
anyway i am annoyed and i should chill out i don’t want her to ruin my day. i got sleep and my mood was good today.
i was scrolling on tiktok while i was feeding baby girl and i scrolled to a drake bell video of one of his songs playing that i know super well cuz i use to listen to it years ago on repeat. baby girl got emotional listening to it. her lips were shaking and she cried softly. stopped eating to cry i might add. so i played it 2 different times at different times to see if the reaction was the same and each time she got emotional. in the video drake bell states he wrote that song during his time of assault but in the perspective of a girl. so sophia must feel that emotional in the voice. picking up on emotion and maybe how the song sounded as well. i think she’s going to grow up to be a very sensitive and kind girl 💜 🥺 baby girl got me teary eyed when she was feeling the emotion listening to that song. she’s gotten emotional like that before with a video game song and with some classical.
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