rough night

baby girl did not sleep at all last night. i was like falling asleep while rocking her. finally she fell asleep by 4:30-5am. when we woke up it was 9 almost 10. i told bf how rough it was all night.  idk how he sleeps thru her cries like that. he told me go start waking him up cuz i shouldn’t be awake alone with her struggling. i guess i don’t wake him up cuz i don’t want to be the one to. i want him to just wake up and start helping but it won’t happen when he’s super asleep i guess. i almost asked for help at like 2:30am but i decided to keep trying alone. 

i was laying here so fucking tired in bed and bf was changing her this morning and his fucking mom comes in the room and starts her stupid baby talk. she’s talking to my baby and dumb while my bf is trying to change and feed her and i’m tired as fuck from no sleep. like go away? it’s too early for this shit. it was so uncomfortable i just laid there and waiting for her to fuck off so i could rest some. what the fuck goes on in people’s minds i just don’t know. like id feel it was too early to be going in someone’s room and start talking to their baby when the mother is in there obviously looking rough from a long night after we just said how rough it was… while the dad is struggling to keep her calm trying to change her. idk like read the room? she’s so weird. people are so weird. 

so when my bf left for work she still wasn’t asleep even after feeding. so i finally took out the swaddlers again and put her in one. she fell asleep in my arms and when i put her in her bed she cried. got her out and just laid her next to me and she fell asleep. i took a nap with her next to me. fuck it i was way to fucking tired to care. so i got in a good few hour nap. i woke her to change and feed her and she’s out again. i took advantage of that time and ate something now im gonna try to sleep some too til she wakes up