kittykaley.com

4am i’m awake with baby girl. her dr said to feed her every 2 hours now and after her second visit yesterday we asked if we should bump up her amount of formula to 45. they said 45 is now her new minimum. so we’ve been going between 45-50 ml. she isn’t gaining weight much which is weird considering she eats so well. hopefully upping her amount will work. she’s supposed to gain an ounce a day but only gained half an ounce in days. her stomach her yesterday evening and night so she was screaming her head off. those are the nights we don’t get sleep. there was a point where i laid her next to me in the bed and she fell asleep. i fought it but i said fuck it and slept next to her. co sleeping is a big no because of accidents. would never want to roll over her so i don’t do co sleeping. but since she’s up every 2 hours, i don’t move much in my sleep and im hyper aware of her i just slept. i did this 2 times that night and she was calmer and slept thru next to me. put her in bassinet and she’d wake up screaming mins later. so it is what it is. she’s next to me now and i’m trying to get her to be passed out. i started singing to her to calm her as well and that seems to work so far. a made up song i sing to her about her bouncing and getting tired 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

she had to get blood taken again to check the levels of her jaundice and they said they’re starting to go down. idk the exact wording cuz i had just gotten home from her appt and when i went to the bathroom i broke down due to the stinging pain from my tearing from birth. it stings bad when dealing with it in the bathroom. so that started my crying. then it was just a buildup of being so fucking tired and her stuff and my stuff with the blood pressure which is still high af. i just got overwhelmed as well. anywayyy i had him answer the dr call and they said her levels have gone down. the dr told us to get her vitamin d by taking her outside a little and or putting her next to windows that shine sun thru. we’re working on baby girl and i just hope she’s where she should be so these dr visits are limited. 

i’m so tired im hoping to sleep a little before her next feeding in like 40 mins