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January 4, 2024

ultrasound appointment tomorrow again. hopefully she’s measuring on schedule. the fear i have of them telling me i need to have an early delivery or some kind of emergency c section. i think she’s fine though. i just worry cuz my blood sugar numbers haven’t been the best and my fasting blood sugar numbers are still high. they keep bumping insulin up and it’s just not fixing the problem. i sent in my results so far and they never replied to me? weird cuz they usually do right away or at least same day. it’s been 2 days now. i go tomorrow anyway so i guess i’ll discuss it then. 

i watched a video on YT of a c section. oh man the way they have like 3-4 doctors there cutting and just ripping apart the stomach with their hands. looked so aggressive like something out of a horror movie. they were grabbing at the skin and ripping it open after the cuts were made. then the sac is seen and they pull it out and cut that. then you just see a baby balled up in there and they take the baby out. it’s so fucking insane. they held the woman’s baby up so she could see him before they wiped him off and i cried. i am so emotional over seeing babies being born on TikTok or YT now. i didn’t wanna cry at the birth of my baby but man am i going to. i know the emotions are gonna be wild. i’m nervous but excited to see her. i’m ready to have her out of me and just get things back to normal and be with her. i told bf that when she’s born and we’re able to have a date night out im gonna go to a Mexican restaurant, order what i want, order a margarita and a shot of tequila.  

someone left a gnome on top of our mailbox? weird thing is is the fact i like gnomes and collect them. i asked everyone in this house and none of them put it there. my family didn’t put it there either. ??? very odd. 

so i have another NST appt before the ultrasound tomorrow morning and keep getting these letters from the insurance people saying it’s not covered by my insurance and the price is 890.00. i keep getting them for every appt and i have more to come every week. it says it’s not a bill but i can file a claim. ugh  i need to file the claim cuz i can’t deal with that. 


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