39 weeks

induction tomorrow and my baby will be here hopefully tomorrow 🥰

last appt

last of all my appts for this pregnancy until i have post pregnancy visits. nst test today took forever. sophia was not cooperative at first because she was in a sleep cycle but the nst nurse shook my stomach around lol so she’d wake up. she ended up waking up and everything checked out good but we were stuck waiting in the midwife approval. we waited and waited and i had to pee so damn bad. it got so bad i had my sister go ask for assistance. 

we got chick fil a (spiked my blood sugar to 139 😬)  and went to burlington to grab sophia’s first go home dress but the dress might be too big 😭 

she finally gave me my nails her friend made me for christmas 

38 week/last ultrasound

2 appts down and 1 left to go. baby weighs 7 lbs and 12 oz now and the dr says she’ll prob weigh 8 lbs at birth. she’s doing great, everything is great he said. he told me my blood sugars are doing well too and my hard work is paying off. i was like 🧐 i was so worried about the numbers going high but he said they’re doing well. it was really a relief to hear this. my blood pressure wasn’t mentioned and it was 142/83 today at the dr. i heard 142 and was like oh shit. but i think the number on the bottom being below 90 helps to level out the score. so i’m still scheduled as normal to be induced on Monday. tomorrow i have my last nst appt that my sister is taking me to since my bf has an appt of his own at his dr. then my sister and i are going to Burlington to look for a coming home outfit for my baby when she leaves the hospital. i think we’re going to the pet store too after. i’m limited to a store or 2 tho cuz walking for me long time gets painful. so we have everything set up here for my baby’s arrival. i’m anxious, excited, nervous and scared. 

oop

went to my last prenatal appointment and my blood pressure was 155/86. high as fuck. so they made me go to the hospital to labor and delivery to get monitored. they monitored me for a couple of hours. they took blood to send to the lab, monitored baby like at my nst appts and monitored my blood pressure. everything went down with the BP and my blood work came back fine. they also told me i was positive for the strep b bacteria. they said it’s nothing bad but since the baby hasn’t been exposed to anything they are gonna put antibiotics using an IV in me during birth. so after a couple of hours i got the okay to go home. they said if it is high again like this then i need to come in again. so lets hope it won’t go that high again 😬 as far as i know im still scheduled for Monday the 29th for induction to give birth. 

38 weeks

updates

at my ultrasound appt on Thursday baby did not cooperate so got no new pics again. she was not wanting to show herself and kept blocking her face with her hands. such a me thing tbh. she was practicing her breath tho and the tech said usually that’s the hardest thing to get them to do but she was only doing that. 

the OB wasn’t there again and still hadn’t updated my chart to show me results of the ultrasound or let me know about insulin or anything yet 🙄 luckily my fasting numbers are going down. but i had read it can be cuz placenta is starting to fail. i also had some high blood pressure problems and wanted to see what they say but still haven’t heard back??? i guess they’ll call and or update my chart on Monday. 

my birthday was the same day as my ultrasound appt so i opened bday gifts from bf before leaving for the appt. he got me my pink microwave and my pink toaster. they look so cute and kinda look like toys. barbie stuff. slowly but surely i’m bullying my way into redecorating places in the house. 

yesterday i had my NST test appt again and once again my baby is doing really well and the nurse was like “i love when you come in your baby does beautifully”. she told me a lot of other women that come in are there for like an hour or more cuz their babies aren’t cooperating. i have 1 more appt each so 3 more appts next week until they are scheduled to induce me on Monday. it’s happening. it’s getting extremely real now. i will have a baby and my life is gonna be forever changed in 9 days. (unless they call monday to move it earlier next week) but so far it looks like im still scheduled for the 29th. still need help packing my hospital bag

yesterday we carried on with my bday and went to breakfast after my appt. we went to this small cafe called 3 lil birds. i got breakfast tacos. then we went to look and call around shelters for guinea pigs. ended up at a pet store where i didn’t wanna go really but one of the pet stores had like 7 baby guinea pigs, all female. so i picked one out yesterday. it was a toss up between this fuzzy looking one that looked like she just woke up or this cute little soft light brown and white one. the fuzzy one i liked cuz it was so funny looking but i wasn’t sure if its ear was bleeding or it had something wrong with its feet. i’m sure it was fine but after dealing with the sickness and death of my latest pig i didn’t wanna go thru any of that again. so we got my guinea pig and brought her home. i blocked off the cage in half for them to introduce slowly. so far she’s scared and wouldn’t come out of hiding in the box i left in her side. i took it out last night to force her to move more into her home more. Poppy noticed her and they were smelling each other. then she got aggressive about trying to get to the baby ones side. biting the cage trying to get there. eventually she got over and i had to separate them again as she was chasing the other the baby one and scaring her. so bf zip tied the middle together and Poppy still be trying to get to the other side. today i’m going to allow them to be together fully and let them do their pig dominance thing cuz im sure it’ll go on. according to reddit they say you’re supposed to allow it even if they chase and stuff. as long as there is no bloodshed it’s safe and natural. then i will block them off again after. my concern is that the baby one is BABY like small af. Poppy is a big ass 1.5 year old bitch so i need to be careful. once they get used to each other and everything im glad they’ll both have each others company. 

we went to my fave Crawdaddys for my bday dinner and i got the healthiest meal i could. i didn’t cave in and get the jambalaya pasta like i usually do. still trying to eat right for baby. just 9 more days and i am free of this gestational diabetes. when she is out im ordering munchkins and mcdonald’s breakfast. i made my own bday cake cuz i wanted to try this keto bday cake which was okay. 

my bf always makes fun of me cuz i look normal from the back until i turn around. my stomach is big and i am so done with it

according to the midwife today she said when i see the OB they’ll let me know if i need to have baby earlier than the 29th (39th week). which would be next week at 28 weeks. all because my insulin keeps being upped and it doesn’t stay under 95. she said the OB will decide that on Thursday. i’m not ready for her to come yet i still have things to get done. i still need to get another guinea pig for my current one so she’s not lonely and before things get too crazy. the blood sugar was high again today at 106 😠 i also gained 2 more lbs since last week which i swear is water retention cuz i feel my joints sore. i need to drink way more water. they took my blood pressure at the drs and it was 144/88 which is concerning. so they rechecked it. they said if it was high again they would need to me to go all the way to maternal fetal medicine and get blood work done right away. thank god it wasn’t high the second try. so no need to go to do all that. 

my bf buried Bitzy this morning next to Mitzy 😢 so they can rest together now. as said before i am just gonna get another guinea pig so Poppy can be with a friend again. i can’t wait around and try to find somewhere to rehome her. i need to focus on my baby and not worry so much about things. so maybe this weekend ill check out some shelters. 

i still need to pack my hospital bag. i really need to because clearly i may need to have her earlier. crossing fingers i can wait til the scheduled 29th. 

RIP Bitzy

god that was rough. i’ve never put down an animal before, but my family has for our pets. it was the worst when the vet came in and was crying. then my bf was crying and i was trying to keep it in til i got home. i disassociated as much as possible from my emotions. I held her while they gave her the sedative and I let them take her when they gave her the final shot because they said she might squeak or twitch and I did not wanna see that. they brought her back after tho and we will be burying her this evening. it’s so hard and i never wanna do this again. but she’s better off asleep because her back was thin from not eating and her uterus was hanging out which had to hurt so much. i mean i just wanted her to be happy. she lived a good 5 years though and we’re gonna bury her with Mitzy so they can rest together. god it’s so hard especially putting down a pet 3 days before your birthday and 2 weeks before giving birth. its been stressful to say the least. :( I just hope Bitzy can rest without pain. my other guinea pig, Poppy was squeaking when I took Bitzy out which broke me even more because she's wondering where her friend is. Idk what to do if I can't find a place for Poppy. if I can't I will have to get another guinea pig cuz they can't be alone. so that's more sad stuff to tackle. I just want to do the right thing and I know how much my baby will take up time, I don't want to be unfair to my guinea pig. she needs to have lots of love and care too. so I was trying to find  sanctuary for her to be with other pigs. :( giving her away tho will be devastating in itself ugh

                                  i love you Bitzy <3 

37 weeks

:(

so my guinea pig Bitzy’s prolapsed again. i went to change her pee pads this morning and it was out and there was a lot of blood. she’s not eating a whole lot either. she can’t get in any earlier than her appt on Tues cuz the vet isn’t there mondays. all i can do it make her as comfortable as possible til then. then we’re gonna just ask to put her to sleep 😞 she’s just old and the surgery is gonna prob be a ton of money and i feel like it’s cruel to put her thru all this traumatic surgery just so we can keep her longer. i’m so down today now. Tuesday is gonna be rough cuz i need to be there with her while they put her down. it’s going to be hard. 

guinea pig update

this morning my bf called 11 vets and none of them could see my guinea pig today. the place we normally go to said the dr who helps guinea pigs is all booked up. but we decided to take her in anyways and kinda beg? we told the front desk what was going on and that we’ve taken her here before. we said no one would take her and this is a serious emergency. they ended up asking the dr and they said we can leave my guinea pig there and the doctor will get with the guinea pig as soon as she can. i tried to keep it together and signed the consent. i walked out of there sobbing. i couldn’t hold it together anymore than i was. i tried disassociating last night and earlier today but it broke me leaving her there. i don’t like her being scared and not understand what is going on. so we ended up getting a call quickly and they asked us about what she’s been eating etc. they said they could look at her today and it relieved me. so they looked at her and said her vag was prolapsed. pretty much what i figured by google. so they said they’d try and push it back in 😖 and that if it doesn’t work then she needs a surgery. if she needs the surgery i didn’t want to make her go through all of that nor could i afford it and would be forced to put her down. she’s old and she doesn’t need to go thru anymore traumas. but they called us back and said they got her back in place. they said it still might prolapse again and if it does she’ll need the surgery. which as i said i wouldn’t put her through despite the cost. devastating ugh. so she’s home now and resting a lot. she didn’t eat all of her lettuce and she’s just recovering. i separated the 2 pigs so the other doesn’t bug her. they have her an antibiotic that i need to follow up with for 3 days. then we take her back for a follow up appt on Tues. so Tues i have a prenatal appt then her appt at 4. they’re gonna remove the stitches too. they did say if she isn’t passing bowels by 12 hours then we need to cut the stitches ourself here. i hope we won’t have to and she continues to get better ❤️‍🩹 im gonna check on her before bed. i love my pigs so much and i hate seeing this happen to them. 

guinea pig emergency

something bad is wrong with my guinea pig now. i mean emergency and im crying cuz the vet she goes to is only in on Tuesdays. she cannot wait to go. i feel like this is something they’ll suggest i put her down for. she’s old so they will probably recommend that. i noticed blood all over the cage. like so thick it looked like red paint. i picked her up and noticed her bottom is like outside. either her rectum or or uterus is prolapsed and hanging outside of her body and it’s bleeding everywhere. what the fuck. what the fuck happened? maybe that water pink urine wasn’t from the dye in the treats she was eating and was the beginning of this. idk but it’s so fucking shocking and scary. idk what to do. it’s obvious night time and i can’t do anything. she’s acting normal aside that. lays around a lot more but gets up and eats like normal etc. she’s 5 going on 6 or so years old so she’s old and idk what is happening. i’m pretty freaked out. there’s not a whole lot of info on this and from what i have been reading is it’s super rare. my bf is at his show and i was texting him he said he’d call the vet in the morning. i have a fucking NST appt in the morning. it’s hard to find a guinea pig vet around here. i can’t leave her like this. 

then there was talk about if i have to out her down to relieve any suffering, then what do i do about my other guinea pig. they need a companion they can’t live alone. my baby is going to be here in like 2.5 weeks. i partly feel i can’t get another one. do i give her away? i can’t. it’s going to hurt my soul. i love my guinea pigs. but maybe my baby will take over my mind so i won’t worry so much. i just do love my guinea pigs and it hurts already having to put one down possibly. i also don’t have the extra money to spend if it’s gonna cost us a ton to get her fixed up. cuz she’ll prob need antibiotics and help putting her whatever it is back inside and stitched. is it worth all that work as she’s old? or is it better to euthanize her? idk i am so devastated. so much going on. i’m so stressed out and sad now. 

36 week ultrasound

she’s still doing great and everything inside is going great. she has hiccups today so i could see her body bumping around in the ultrasound 🥺

here is the front of her face i flipped around to view proper facing 🥺

she looks like a babydoll head. 

i didn’t get a weight on her, they didn’t say but maybe they weren’t measuring that today. i have 2 more ultrasounds then it’s time to be induced. scary because it could take a long time and obviously it’s very painful. they said she has some hair on her head. 

bf has show tonight but it’s the last one cuz i need him here since im delivering baby in a couple weeks. 

tired

back from prenatal appointment and i weigh 3 lbs more in just 5 days… ?? is this bad idk. they didn’t say anything but im scared she’s growing too fast. if so they will want to induce me even earlier on the 38th week. i guess ill find out tomorrow when i get my ultrasound to weigh her. the midwife said she was gonna ask about scheduling me to be induced on the 29th or 30th. she’s going to call the OB and ask i think. i wish they would induce me at least Feb 1. i want her to be a Feb baby for some reason. but looking like end of January unless things change. 

they had to swab my vag and ass wtf. they check for strep b or whatever that way so i had to get that done. they also had to check to see how far i am dilated and she said i am close to being dilated. when i had to take my urine sample i had to weight on someone in the bathroom and they took forever. i finally got sick of waiting and just went back to the room for a moment. all the doctors laugh and say im either “all belly” or “all baby” cuz i look regular everywhere but my stomach. i am already exhausted from 3 appts each now til delivery. 

last night we put the car seat in the car to get that prepped. it was difficult understanding the instructions it literally took me, bf, my mom and bro to figure out. it stills needs checked so we just take it to the fire department and they check it for safety. we put together the baby swing too 🥰 

edit: they called and scheduled me for Jan 29th at 8am 😭 

busy

going to be helluva busy month. they want me to now come in every week for the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy for ultrasounds. since i’m in the final last few weeks they wanna keep checking on her growth. so now i have 3 appointments every week for the remaining 3 weeks. gonna be tiring but im almost done with all of these appts and gestational diabetes shit daily. i am so confused as to why they even bother with the prenatal appts when the ultrasound and NST are most informative. when i go to the prenatal appts all i do is talk to them for 20 mins about the same info i get out of the OB. we got the bassinet together and i need some sheets for it and set it up cute and comfy for her arrival 

the ugly curtains still need to go but they’re just there for now til we get new, white ones i want. there was a hurricane shutter on the window for years on it and finally i asked him to take it down to open up the window for the baby to get light. we got rid of all the shitty furniture that was over there. after all the crying and fighting over wanting to change the area up it only took me having a baby for him to listen to me and change it up. he says how great and roomy it is now over there and all i gotta say is “toldja!” 

it’s getting real now. she’s almost here and my life will be changed for the rest of my life. taking care of my daughter for the rest of my life, doing everything for her to grow into a good, caring & smart person. it’s no longer only about me. i finally have a purpose in life 

36 weeks

35 week ultrasound

my little girl is 6 lbs and 6 ounces today and still growing. right on track and not too big or too small still 💕 

she wasn’t cooperative during the ultrasound. we tried waking her up many times. i tried laying in different positions, poking belly with doppler and then i drank water and she moved enough to get it documented lol. she acted this way at my NST appt this morning too. was busy napping and we needed her awake. so i drank water and she went crazy. moved all around and the lady said she could hear her moving on the screen from the other room. 

there were no OBs there today so the tech was the only one there. she said the OB will get back to me tho soon about whether or not i need another ultrasound and what the plans are next. i should be giving birth in like 3 weeks starting Sunday. 😵‍💫 

tomorrow we’re cleaning up and putting things together. i’m so tired im on 3 hours of sleep today. was not able to sleep cuz for one, bf came home from the recording studio at 3am cuz his friends got too drunk to drive him home. his uber was super late picking him up too. so i was awake waiting for him to come home. then i couldn’t sleep til like 4am cuz i was restless. so i’ve been in my feet all day up and down. i’m super tired. 

anyways i gained 3 lbs and my baby almost gained 3 so my weight must be from her. she’s so cute and i can’t wait til she’s out in the world and with us ❤️ 

ultrasound appointment tomorrow again. hopefully she’s measuring on schedule. the fear i have of them telling me i need to have an early delivery or some kind of emergency c section. i think she’s fine though. i just worry cuz my blood sugar numbers haven’t been the best and my fasting blood sugar numbers are still high. they keep bumping insulin up and it’s just not fixing the problem. i sent in my results so far and they never replied to me? weird cuz they usually do right away or at least same day. it’s been 2 days now. i go tomorrow anyway so i guess i’ll discuss it then. 

i watched a video on YT of a c section. oh man the way they have like 3-4 doctors there cutting and just ripping apart the stomach with their hands. looked so aggressive like something out of a horror movie. they were grabbing at the skin and ripping it open after the cuts were made. then the sac is seen and they pull it out and cut that. then you just see a baby balled up in there and they take the baby out. it’s so fucking insane. they held the woman’s baby up so she could see him before they wiped him off and i cried. i am so emotional over seeing babies being born on TikTok or YT now. i didn’t wanna cry at the birth of my baby but man am i going to. i know the emotions are gonna be wild. i’m nervous but excited to see her. i’m ready to have her out of me and just get things back to normal and be with her. i told bf that when she’s born and we’re able to have a date night out im gonna go to a Mexican restaurant, order what i want, order a margarita and a shot of tequila.  

someone left a gnome on top of our mailbox? weird thing is is the fact i like gnomes and collect them. i asked everyone in this house and none of them put it there. my family didn’t put it there either. ??? very odd. 

so i have another NST appt before the ultrasound tomorrow morning and keep getting these letters from the insurance people saying it’s not covered by my insurance and the price is 890.00. i keep getting them for every appt and i have more to come every week. it says it’s not a bill but i can file a claim. ugh  i need to file the claim cuz i can’t deal with that.