well i failed my glucose test

i fucking knew i would. bf and friend were saying id be fine but they just don’t understand pcos and the issues i have. so i failed it BIG time. anything over 140 needs the 3 hour glucose test. mine was 209!! they might not even make me do the 3 hour test & just go ahead and diagnose me with gestational diabetes. when i googled 209 for regular glucose tests it told me diabetes. so i might have that too all this time and didn’t know. i ate so bad through out this pregnancy. cakes, muffins, donuts, munchkins, fast food snacks, ice cream all of it. before i got pregnant i think i was doing fine on the anti inflammatory diet cuz it landed me pregnant in the first place but being pregnant my diet went down hill due to cravings. 

i do NOT want to sit on a quiet, small room for 3 hours testing my blood every hour. like just fucking diagnose me with Gd and send me to a nutritionist so i can get on with it. they’ll more than likely in the end send me to one and have me monitor my blood sugar. i just knew this would happen because i have insulin issues. pcos sucks, everything sucks. women on reddit and tiktok comments saying they miss being pregnant you’re fucking insane. i’m happy it happened to me and i can’t wait to have my baby be out but pregnancy in itself SUCKS. i’m breaking out everywhere, nothing makes it go away cuz it’s hormonal. i can’t eat this, can’t drink that, can’t take this, can’t do that. it’s prison. milk is constantly leaking out and drying out in my bras, i’m constantly sore. so the women who enjoy pregnancy you’re fucking weird. mental. 

depressed over my score. it’s so fucking high. i even fasted before the test. i ate a healthy dinner that night. it was just unavoidable. i have to suffer thru the diet plans and the monitoring cuz GD is dangerous when giving birth.