appts

yesterday was nice. ran some more errands with bf & we went to lunch at Castaways. I got a lot of compliments yesterday which made me feel better. I've been feeling down about myself due to weight gain from baby. while I look the same mostly every where except my stomach obviously I still feel blah all the time. my stomach always feels uncomfortable, hurts when I walk, lower back pain and bloating from water retention sucks and makes me feel icky. 2 compliments on my eye makeup & a woman in Publix telling me how cute I look. confidence has been shot lately but maybe I am just being too critical and seeing things different than others do. 

speaking of I need to schedule an appt with my hair stylist because I want to make sure I can get in before my baby shower. I want my hair freshly highlighted and blonde for it. she books up fast so I should ask today or tomorrow. I picked out 3 baby shower dresses so far. I want long, fairy vibe dresses.

so I have 3 appts back to back. I made my blood test appt or tomorrow for the 2 blood test the OB ordered. she already messaged me asking if I've been monitoring my BP & if I got my blood tests done. like lady give me a fucking min. I had to order a new BP monitor & I had to schedule appts. Christ, I felt annoyed by her asking those Q's on my Mychart. maybe she's just reminding me idk, but its her asking question after question that annoyed me... I def agree with my sister... I like the midwife more. so I schedules my appt for 11a tomorrow for those 2 tests. then I am taking my guinea pig to the vet Tuesday at 9am. she's been acting slower? she also looks like she's losing weight even though she eats a lot? Idk what's wrong. is it older age? is she ill? so instead of wondering... I am taking her to be safe. I hope she is okay and it's just her age. she is around 5 years old now. :( I hate when my animals aren't feeling well. I am always worrying about my guinea pigs especially cuz they're like little babies :( 

that confusing blood pressure appt on Halloween morning... still confused who I am seeing? am I suppose to see that OB again? feels like I should because she's the one wanting me to monitor everything. nurse can only do so much? IDK man. so I have a busy week planned up. 

still need to text Mum & tell her we can't make it for a visit til sometime in Nov because Oct was busy. I just hate texting people. like I dread when I get text messages cuz I get this feeling of obligation. like if I don't text correctly or at the right time... or starting up conversation in general I feel I don't know how to end. idk I hate it. bf is always texting in group chats with friends & band people every day all the time and I'm like how? how do you WANT to interact? I despise it. back in the AIM days I use to block my school friends cuz I hated having to talk online and feel awkward and obligated. I posted a bunch of new pics on my IG story . I am trying to use IG a little more. I use to be so active online but now I am just either blogging or I'm on Youtube watching videos or Tiktok sending my sister vids back n forth. my socials aren't used much anymore. but I go thru phases like the past week of posting more shit on stories. I am more of a stories gal than a post gal. I like that they disappear in a day & don't clutter feed.