blood pressure check 👍🏼

went to my appointment and my blood pressure check was normal. first time at the dr since i’ve been pregnant. i wonder if those low dose aspirins are working then. i still keep logging it morning and night every day. it’s been good during those times too. she told me to keep logging it and bring it back in next appointment (in 2 weeks). nurse showed me how to use the blood sugar monitor. she said before i eat in the morning, then 2 hours after i eat each meal. so i tried it there and i was scared at first cuz i don’t like my fingertip pricked but i did it and it was more startling than anything. something that will take getting use to for sure. my blood sugar was 112 so that was good. we got Wawa breakfast and i ordered a breakfast bowl with scrambled eggs, sausage, spinach, tomatoes, caramelized onions & chipotle and hot sauce. it was pretty healthy choice. so in 2 hours ill check the blood sugar again. seems this is gonna have to be a test to see what triggers my blood sugar. i didn’t get an iced latte this morning cuz ive been having anxiety feeling like an anxiety attack at night and this morning. so i cut the caffeine out for a lil bit. 

i think ive just been stressed with these new lifestyle changes that have just been sprung onto me so quickly. having been diagnosed with gestational diabetes and having to check blood sugar and go in a strict diet during pregnancy and possibly the rest of my life if i end up with diabetes in the future. says a high percentage of women who develop GD during pregnancy will have it regularly in the future. all cuz of how the placenta developed 😒 so that and having the meet with a nutritionist soon as i make appointment, more specialized OBs for my high risk pregnancy having to prob do more tests. just a lot going on for me that i am not use to. then the baby coming is obviously a complete life changing experience. it’s just all coming on too fast and im stressing. 

ugh i wish i wasn’t the way i am with socializing and stuff but my friend from school messaged me in a group message with my other 2 school friends asking about getting together for lunch sometime soon. whenever i get messages i tend to leave them unread a lot cuz i don’t like the feeling of obligation to reply. i don’t want to socialize even though it’d be great for me to do. catching up with old school friends would be a positive thing. i’m just so… not social. i think one of my other friends is the same way in the group chat. years ago she started to become distant and not wanting to hang out cuz of her reasons which i think i know i don’t wanna say. but it’s all the same for me it’s just… not wanting to do anything lol. so i messaged back saying ive been busy with pregnancy but it does sound nice lol which isn’t a lie. things are about to get really busy. between these appointments and the baby shower planning it’s a lot at once. 

family pumpkins

bf’s, mine, sister’s, mom’s pumpkins 🎃 

so no halloween parties for me this year due to the obvious but it was nice doing halloween things with my bf and my family. we’re gonna sit outside and hand out candy on Tuesday. i might throw some cat ears on or something. 

i’ve been waking up every night unable to breathe well. feels almost as if im having an anxiety attack and it’s hard to breathe. my pregnancy pillow arrived today and you’re supposed to let it fluff out for 48 hours but i couldn’t resist on trying it out. i’m using it now but we have so many stuffed animals on the bed it feels kinda claustrophobic. i’ll prob have to start putting some off the bed (somewhere comfortable for them) so i can let this pillow take over my side of the bed easier. i hope it helps and keeps me asleep. i suppose we’ll see tonight. i have a cough now. hard to hold it back sometimes. i held my cough feeling in for days but today i couldn’t anymore. i don’t think i’m getting a cold or anything. i don’t feel sick at all just coughing. maybe it’s allergies, maybe it’s a pregnancy thing, who knows. i have my flu shot so i should be protected against that. my freaking body is breaking out so bad and idk what to do. it looks like a rash all over my back, back of my neck and abdomen under breasts. it’s all hormone related but i gotta do something. i can’t with this “puberty” bs. its like growing up all over again and breaking out as a teenager. i started to slowly cut out lactose. gonna be in this new diabetic diet shit so maybe eating way less sugar and dairy should help idk. otherwise it’s something i’ll have to wait til after giving birth and when my hormones get back to normal. sigh 😔 pregnancy is hard. 

26 weeks

halloween time

dr called so i called back & they told me i have GD & didn’t even bother with the 3 hour glucose test. told me they sent a pickup at pharmacy for a blood sugar monitor & test strips. she told me to bring it in to my appointment on Tuesday so they can show me how to use it. 😖 so i’m basically a diabetic during the rest of my pregnancy & they’re sending me to a specialist to help me with what to eat. i’m going to ask about the anti inflammatory diet cuz i like that one & it’s why im pregnant today. stressed a little bit about all this lifestyle change. have to do a lot more, a lot extra to ensure the safety of my baby & myself. worried i’ll fail i guess. anyway went to some guys house where he puts up a lot of spook stuff out in his yard for halloween. 

well i failed my glucose test

i fucking knew i would. bf and friend were saying id be fine but they just don’t understand pcos and the issues i have. so i failed it BIG time. anything over 140 needs the 3 hour glucose test. mine was 209!! they might not even make me do the 3 hour test & just go ahead and diagnose me with gestational diabetes. when i googled 209 for regular glucose tests it told me diabetes. so i might have that too all this time and didn’t know. i ate so bad through out this pregnancy. cakes, muffins, donuts, munchkins, fast food snacks, ice cream all of it. before i got pregnant i think i was doing fine on the anti inflammatory diet cuz it landed me pregnant in the first place but being pregnant my diet went down hill due to cravings. 

i do NOT want to sit on a quiet, small room for 3 hours testing my blood every hour. like just fucking diagnose me with Gd and send me to a nutritionist so i can get on with it. they’ll more than likely in the end send me to one and have me monitor my blood sugar. i just knew this would happen because i have insulin issues. pcos sucks, everything sucks. women on reddit and tiktok comments saying they miss being pregnant you’re fucking insane. i’m happy it happened to me and i can’t wait to have my baby be out but pregnancy in itself SUCKS. i’m breaking out everywhere, nothing makes it go away cuz it’s hormonal. i can’t eat this, can’t drink that, can’t take this, can’t do that. it’s prison. milk is constantly leaking out and drying out in my bras, i’m constantly sore. so the women who enjoy pregnancy you’re fucking weird. mental. 

depressed over my score. it’s so fucking high. i even fasted before the test. i ate a healthy dinner that night. it was just unavoidable. i have to suffer thru the diet plans and the monitoring cuz GD is dangerous when giving birth. 

back from glucose test

it wasn’t too bad. all the girls ok tiktok drinking the glucose test drink and saying it made them throw up or it tasted bad. idk man i drank it down quickly and it was pretty damn good. the guy gave me orange flavor. i didn’t feel sick or anything just sleepy towards the end of the hour wait. thank God my bf was with me cuz time would have gone slower & i would have been constantly checking the time. still i hope i don’t fail this cuz i do not want to sit there for 3 hours. it wouldn’t be so bad if you could go sit in your car or sit outside and wait. they made me go into a resting room in the back. a small room with only 4 spread out chairs. it was so quiet at first it was uncomfortable. til a lady started talking in the phone loudly and getting mad about having to pay 700 dollars for her test. she was trying to use a different email or something to log in to whatever so it wouldn’t cost so much idk i didn’t understand but she was mad so it was awkward. then the other girl was on the phone with seemingly work stuff. i preferred people talking in there cuz when we first walked in it was soooo quiet. so i can’t imagine sitting in there for 3 fucking hours and every hour they draw your blood. PLEASE PASS THIS GLUCOSE TEST DEAR GOD. 

guinea pig is okay

guinea pig visit went smoothly. my bf took us to the vet this morning & the dr checked on Bitsy and she listened to her breathing. she said it sounds more like asthma sounds than a "hoo" sound. I told her I am not sure how to explain it so she told me to record it next time she does it and send it. she told me that lack of vitamin C can cause respiratory issues & to start adding children's vitamin C tablets or drops into the guinea pig water bottle and see if that changes things. the vet also said since Bitsy is an older pig, her body doesn't absorb or keep Vitamin C in the body as well as it did when she was younger and if we buy big bags of guinea pig food (which we do) it doesn't last as long in the pellets. so tonight we're gonna buy some vitamin c for the pigs. relieved.

I got my blood work results back this morning with a note from the midwife & I do not have any abnormal results. so no preeclampsia. hallelujah. I hate how the bottom of my results said "patient denied testing. encouraged to come back for testing" or whatever... like it makes it sound bad. I just said I have an appt for the other test on Wed. maybe it's just a generic check box if i denied a test, idk. tomorrow I go in or that glucose test 😩 I wanna get it over with to know if I have to do the 3 hour one or not and if I have GD. please God, I hope not. everything else is going smoothly so far in this pregnancy and all my blood work is coming back normal. so we'll find out soon. I've also been documenting my blood pressure like I was asked to and so far my blood pressure has been coming back normal. I started checking morning and night & this morning after running around, getting guinea pig checked out, Dunkin run, it still came back normal. I am wondering now if it does have to do with nerves/anxiety going to the Dr? we'll find out if there is a change when they check my BP on Halloween morning. 

today at Dunkin the lady at the drive thru asked my bf "what is she having?" and I kinda knew what she was asking but was not 100%... so my bf looked at the coffee we ordered for my mom & he was like "Hazelnut?" lmao she's like "no what is SHE having" pointing at me... & then we both said a girl lol. so it is apparent to the public that I am pregnant. I am super self conscious in showing my belly cuz I wonder if people just think I am fat? but I am not fat anywhere else so it makes sense for them to think pregnancy. I need to stop worrying about what others think of it in public and just embrace it. during the week I tend to try & hide my baby bump with big t-shirts. in general I have read people just stare at pregnant women all the time in general. gor various reasons I guess? but I am always reading about it. i think it's super rude. whether they're staring in a positive way or not it's rude in my opinion to ever stare at someone no matter what. so I hate that about it. I don't like attention drawn to me on a normal basis so for people to stare at my pregnant body feels uncomfortable. so just don't do it.

appts

yesterday was nice. ran some more errands with bf & we went to lunch at Castaways. I got a lot of compliments yesterday which made me feel better. I've been feeling down about myself due to weight gain from baby. while I look the same mostly every where except my stomach obviously I still feel blah all the time. my stomach always feels uncomfortable, hurts when I walk, lower back pain and bloating from water retention sucks and makes me feel icky. 2 compliments on my eye makeup & a woman in Publix telling me how cute I look. confidence has been shot lately but maybe I am just being too critical and seeing things different than others do. 

speaking of I need to schedule an appt with my hair stylist because I want to make sure I can get in before my baby shower. I want my hair freshly highlighted and blonde for it. she books up fast so I should ask today or tomorrow. I picked out 3 baby shower dresses so far. I want long, fairy vibe dresses.

so I have 3 appts back to back. I made my blood test appt or tomorrow for the 2 blood test the OB ordered. she already messaged me asking if I've been monitoring my BP & if I got my blood tests done. like lady give me a fucking min. I had to order a new BP monitor & I had to schedule appts. Christ, I felt annoyed by her asking those Q's on my Mychart. maybe she's just reminding me idk, but its her asking question after question that annoyed me... I def agree with my sister... I like the midwife more. so I schedules my appt for 11a tomorrow for those 2 tests. then I am taking my guinea pig to the vet Tuesday at 9am. she's been acting slower? she also looks like she's losing weight even though she eats a lot? Idk what's wrong. is it older age? is she ill? so instead of wondering... I am taking her to be safe. I hope she is okay and it's just her age. she is around 5 years old now. :( I hate when my animals aren't feeling well. I am always worrying about my guinea pigs especially cuz they're like little babies :( 

that confusing blood pressure appt on Halloween morning... still confused who I am seeing? am I suppose to see that OB again? feels like I should because she's the one wanting me to monitor everything. nurse can only do so much? IDK man. so I have a busy week planned up. 

still need to text Mum & tell her we can't make it for a visit til sometime in Nov because Oct was busy. I just hate texting people. like I dread when I get text messages cuz I get this feeling of obligation. like if I don't text correctly or at the right time... or starting up conversation in general I feel I don't know how to end. idk I hate it. bf is always texting in group chats with friends & band people every day all the time and I'm like how? how do you WANT to interact? I despise it. back in the AIM days I use to block my school friends cuz I hated having to talk online and feel awkward and obligated. I posted a bunch of new pics on my IG story . I am trying to use IG a little more. I use to be so active online but now I am just either blogging or I'm on Youtube watching videos or Tiktok sending my sister vids back n forth. my socials aren't used much anymore. but I go thru phases like the past week of posting more shit on stories. I am more of a stories gal than a post gal. I like that they disappear in a day & don't clutter feed. 

25 weeks

got the blood pressure monitor in the mail today and tried it right away. first time i did it my bp was high. 140/87. tried it 2 min later & it was normal 122/76 or something. same thing that happens when i’m at the dr. but i’m going to keep monitoring it daily, writing the results down. keep taking the baby aspirin every day & hope everything is good. 

ran around doing lots of errands & we stopped by asian market to get a bubble tea for me & i ended up with 2 prizes  anytime we see a lasso we have to get it so yea

went to Paulseidons & met up with Paige, my sister, my bf & his mom to check out the layout so we can know where we should place stuff. paige was like i’ve been here before a few times but couldn’t remember the layout. i’m like prob cuz we were always drunk here lol. 

went to ale house & we got mozzarella sticks for appetizer, i got a shirley temple, and got a salad with shrimp & chicken. i got this car air freshener that has a propeller so kawaii 

i’m so tired waiting on my bf to stop playing music 

guinea pig :(

only available times to take my glucose test are on Wednesday so i scheduled an 8:40 am appt for it. i hope they do the other 2 blood tests too that i need. i wasn’t able to choose multiple reasons for appointment so i scheduled the most important one. bf is taking me before work. 

something might be wrong with my guinea pig. again. the oldest one is making weird noises. she’s been making them on and off for a couple weeks but i just thought when she did it a couple weeks ago it was a fluke or allergy related but today she was doing it for a couple of hours. it’s like a hooing sound like an owl or pigeon makes. idk how else to explain it but i looked up other people’s guinea pigs making same sounds on like youtube and reddit and its all bad news. from respiratory infect, heart disease to tumors. idk but i’m worried about her. my bf is going to make an appt for her tomorrow for Monday. the guinea pig vet is only in on mondays and wednesday. i don’t even want to wait this long but i don’t have any where else to take her around here. i can’t take another situation like my last guinea pig that died. it was so awful. she suffered and there was nothing i could do in time and it still breaks me to this day. i can’t do it again. i hope she’s okay and it’s just allergies from hay or something. or if it is an respiratory infection that they can give me antibiotics for her. my bf is helping me with the bill cuz i really can’t afford it right now. :( she is kinda old. she’s like 5 years old or so i know they can live up to 7 but yea :(

well…

dropped all these decals on the fucking floor. kept some and had to throw away the rest since i had to sweep them with a broom 😭 i was trying to clean off leaked resin of the tube and the top came off. 

i added rhinestones to some of the resin earrings i made to cover up the bubble mistakes and i ordered some screw in earring tops. my bf is going to drill holes in the tops for me. they’re not the greatest looking things but im still practicing. 

they’re way more sparkly in person. not sure what i’ll do with the hearts in the middle of the lasso bears yet. 

prenatal OB appt

so my blood pressure was super high in the danger zone 148/80 when i went to my appointment. it always is but today was especially high. then it goes down after a retry, so i had to have it rechecked a bit later and it was normal. it keeps happening and the OB was saying since it was so high, i have to monitor it with an at home BP device and write down the results as well as take a baby aspirin every day. so i have another appt in 2 weeks to test the pressure and monitor it i guess. then the following 2 weeks i am back for my main prenatal appointment. she wants me to get blood work done to test for stuff that high blood pressure/preeclampsia can cause. or to test it to see if i have preeclampsia. she said if i have any issues that are associated with that then to call right away. i hope i don’t. she was listing all these scary things that can happen to me and my baby if i have preeclampsia. so we’re trying to monitor it to make sure i don’t have it i guess. she also ordered me the dreaded glucose test and im going to get that done on Friday along with the other tests. my sister was annoyed that she listed all the bad things that can happen if i end up with preeclampsia while i was trying to keep my blood pressure down to retest it. she’s like why would she tell you all these things when you’re trying to relax? i get it. but whatever it was normal when they retried it. 

then when i was making my appointment the front desk lady was asking if i need to make it with the OB or midwife. i said i have no idea she just wants me back here in 2 weeks to check my blood pressure for monitoring. she was like “you’d need an OB for that?” i was like i have no clue. she said it would have been nice if the OB explained on it more to her. true. like i have no clue? so she made the appt with the nurse? idk what’s happening that’s why i wish i was just seeing the midwife today. also i haven’t gotten the glucose test and other blood results info she wanted on the my chart app. like how do i go in and get these things done if i don’t know what they all are. i usually go into Quest & hand them the paper for it and they then know what to test. i dunno im lost. 

so i need to find that blood pressure device its in the trailer with all of our stuff stored somewhere. if can’t find it by today i need to buy an amazon one. i need to take 81mg baby aspirins daily. and she sent my urine sample over to Quest to check my liver for any abnormalities from the high BP. 

good news is my baby’s heart beat was good it was like 150 something today and apparently i’m measuring good. she measured my stomach. i have popped since my last appt. i look pregnant now. i gained more lbs than i wanted 😓 i gained 6 lbs in 4 weeks. i wanted to gain a pound or 2 less but i keep forgetting i have to factor in the baby weight and the placenta weight. baby is 1 lbs or so now so that’s another pound. then the placenta is heavy and gets heavier. so i think im still good with the weight gaining. i do need to stop eating cakes, hostess cakes, ice cream, milkshakes, munchkins etc cuz my cravings are out of control 😬 im suppose to all together gain around 25-35 lbs during the whole pregnancy. so far ive gained 17 lbs in 24 weeks. so i think thats good. still need to cut out the goods 😞

fall vibes

feeling happy inside cuz i’m drinking a pumpkin spice iced latte, (like a typical white bitch) and it’s actually cool outside for FL. it feels like fall today and it makes me so happy inside. i hate Florida and heat. i miss traveling up North and being in cold, snowy weather. i noticed all the old people are back down here now from all the rental cars i see & noticing traffic is shittier. just ordered some solar lights for our spook stuff outside that we put out. my bf was like “we tried”. i’m like yea and we did good. ours are cute and classic. i honestly am not a fan of those big, blow up decorations people put up on their front yards. they look tacky and unoriginal. we actually put ours together and made it make sense. still finishing it up but when it’s done it’ll look great. i like it, it makes me happy and feel nostalgic for some reason. i’m so glad i got him to finally decorate the yard. the yard we have is HUGE so we can put it all the way across but one of these Halloweens we’ll have accumulated enough decor. we have been slowly getting stuff on weekends. 🎃

doctor appointment tomorrow and i’m still confused as to why they put me with an actual OB instead of the midwife i was assigned to. like why is it not her? why is it an OB? maybe i’ll be seeing both since im considered “high risk”. am i gonna have to do that glucose test tomorrow? like idk what’s going on but i have to be there at 9:45a. i’m so damn scared of failing my glucose test and having gestational diabetes. because i am insulin resistant already due to pcos, im at a higher risk for GD. which means my diet will have to drastically change 😩 i don’t want any complications for me or my baby so i’ll have to be careful if i end up with GD. it’s so weird cuz when you have GD it goes away after giving birth. same thing with preeclampsia which i’m also afraid of having. i never had high blood pressure but every damn time i get my BP tested by the nurse my blood pressure is always high. it goes down when they retry it but it worries me cuz it can cause serious complications. which preeclampsia also goes away after giving birth. weird shit. so i’m nervous about these things and i keep expressing that because it’s scary. my cousin said she had gestational diabetes with one of her pregnancies. i’m so confused because it says that it has nothing to do with how you eat or how much sugar you have but the placenta and how it forms. then why do we need special diets and cut out sugars? the glucose test is to test how my body takes sugar. so i have to drink these high sugar drink, sit around for an hour then get my blood taken. if i fail it i have to do the 3 hour one and wait around 3 ours after drinking it 😩 to the women who say they miss pregnancy and being pregnant are you insane? cuz its not that fun and it’s a lot of things to do. i think after this visit i have another one in 4 weeks, then it becomes every 2 weeks… then every week when im closer to due date. im starting to give myself anxiety thinking about this and i don’t want to ruin my day. 

so i made those resin molds and they still did not come out like i had hoped. i messed up some areas where bubbles got it and you can’t really see the pink Lasso bears i put in as well as i hoped. i gotta try again but im already running low on resin. resin is expensive too. i just got the 17 dollar kit which holds 8 oz. if i want bigger bottles of it its like 30-50-80 bucks depending on size it’s ridiculous. so i’m selling more clothes in hopes of saving extra money for myself. 

6th month of pregnancy

i've entered my 6th month of pregnancy according to this statement saying between weeks 22-24. i don’t understand the number logic behind it but i gives me an idea. appt on Tuesday. i dread the glucose test 😩

ran around all day getting halloween decorations up, last min stuff for it, craft stuff for my resin jewelry, 2 fall shirts and some plushies. we went to like 6 stores today. i’m exhausted 

baby shower ideas

Paige came over to talk about baby shower ideas yesterday. my mom and sister were there too and we talked about ideas. first we went to grab coffees for all of us and we got a lot of ideas going. Paige out lots of stuff in her cart for decoration. man i’m so glad she’s helping. otherwise it’d just be me, my mom and sister talking and getting off track, not getting anything done. paige found so many pretty flowers to hang, plates for food, table cloths etc. she showed us these paper flower things were gonna DIY. they’re these huge flowers and we are gonna have a night of crafting where we all sit around and make them together 😊 they’re big flowers too. she got all the ideas. so i wrote down some stuff. my sister suggested edible glitter to put in pink lemonade for people to drink. can make a pink alcoholic drink for the guests and a regular lemonade for guests as well. i asked her if she could design my thank you cards too to kinda go with the invitations. i need to send her my registry QR code and how i wanna write the invitations. the thank you notes ill prob write out by hand specific to the person. 

my bf reminded paulseidon about having my baby shower at his house and he said he’d grill brisket lol so thats greats. the finger food table is gonna have muffins big and small, platter of like cheese, meats crackers and stuff. i wanna make these fairy fruit wands, paige is making deviled eggs but she said if you soak them in beat juice it makes them pink. my sister wants to make these like mini apple turn overs, i want some cake pops and ill have champagne out and drinks for everyone. paulseidon is the house to go for mixed drinks he has all the stuff for it so thats perfect. of course we’d buy some so we don’t use all his. man this is gonna be so nice. we’re planning to have an evening time baby shower so that my fairy lights will light up and we’ll probably dim lights a bit. my sister and i found these goody boxes with butterflies on them and we’re gonna fix them with candy, bubbles, wands, seeds for planting and some other small items. 

i love how we’re not just buying things from party city. we’re actually making a lot of these decorations and food with love. 💕 it’s going to be super magical and special. i was so nervous about this because i had no plan, not sure how i was gonna do this. almost was like “i don’t want to even do this”. but after talking to paige and my family about it together i feel we have a good idea now of what we’re going to do. we just need a day where we can stop by paulseidons and they can scope out the area and where we’re gonna place things etc. Dec 2nd is coming upon us… it will fast so i’m glad we’re starting now. 

my apps claim babies can hear outside the womb at 23 weeks like sound of me talking, dogs barking and car horns. when i look it up some sites say 24 weeks, 27 weeks etc. so today i played music and put phone near my stomach and she moved twice. i tried again an hour later & she didn’t move. maybe she just didn’t like that Jimmy Eat World song lol but like the Meat Puppets song. i’m going to try again tomorrow. this morning at 5am i couldn’t fall back asleep cuz she was kicking so much  

i talked to my mom about my registry and what to add she said i had a good list so far. i signed my registry up on the babylist app cuz then i can add stuff from various stores instead of just 1 location. looked a bit for decor for baby shower. 

i bought sticky bra that look like stick on silicone and i got them in my usual size C. don’t fit apparently im a D now i can still wear them cuz i just want my nips covered. i needed a strapless bra badly for my dresses. when i peeled the bra off today i noticed it was wet from colostrum 😖 so gross i already leak. it’s also named “first milk” it keeps coming out daily. pregnancy is pretty gross. 

i tried resin art but they’re going to look shitty i just know it. i need better earring molds these suck. also got the resin on my hands which is hard to get off. need gloves when handling it every time. 

23 weeks

went to BJ’s today and i had to buy more prenatal vitamins. when my brother was checking out, the screen said we need store assistants because of an item we scanned. she came over and congratulated me and told me i look so cute. i assume she first saw we had prenatals on the list and looked at my stomach which was mostly bloating again 😭 i show little bit but can still get away with looking normal if i weren’t constantly bloated from the food, hormones and water retention. i guess it’s just how it is idk. 

my bf and i got some more halloween decorations. we’ve been buying some every weekend to build up. i also bought some resin. i’m gonna start making resin jewelry. pour the resin and mix in the hardener. pour into the molds and then it hardens like a plastic. adding glitter and decals inside. i bought some cute molds. 

Paige and my sister are coming over Thursday at 4 to bounce baby shower ideas around. i need to start planning cuz i guess im doing it beginning of Dec. no clue how to plan a baby shower but ill let them help me cuz im clueless. 

got this cute opossum ornament this weekend. i saw him a few days ago and wanted him. he looks just like my stuffed animal opossum Roadkill. 

*trying* to eat a better diet. the feeling i have been feeling lately has been so miserable. i decided to cut out caffeine and eat smaller portions and healthier option. it’s so hard cuz the pregnancy cravings are so real. i decided to have 1 small dessert a night after eating smaller meals and small snacks. surprisingly i look pretty normal. everything else looks normal but my stomach which is obviously suppose to be round. but not about gain it’s about feeling so swollen after eating. i’m hoping cutting the caffeine will help. i started to get crazy and started getting coffees daily. my stomach was still achey but mostly when walking around. i am drinking a lot of water throughout the day as well. i hope this new method of eating helps cuz i can’t take feeling so swollen every time i eat anything. i had a yogurt & ginger/lemon tea in the morning, half a wrap for a early lunch, half a salad for the other part of my lunch but 2 hours later, half a sub and soup & i had a small hot fudge sundae. im told to eat frequent, smaller meals a day. like 5 times a day i should be eating but small portions. tomorrow we’re having chorizo and broccoli for dinner. 

i went thrift shopping today & got a dress with cherries on it. i took a shower today and when i was shaving i cut myself. thinking the blood would be over with after the shower i got dressed, lotion etc. i laid down and noticed blood splattered all over my leg. i took a pic and sent it to my bf and he freaked out. he said it looked like i got stabbed it was so bad and gory. i didn’t even notice it til i laid down and it got on my dress a bit. i cleaned it up, put a bandaid on it and had to change the bandaid again like 20 mins later. it was bleeding so severely wtf. 

so i’m scheduling a little get together with Paige & my sister to discuss my baby shower. throw around some ideas and decor stuff. my bf told me she showed him more ideas today. she’s so into it i love it. she already picked out some decorations and bought them. asking my bf is i would like them and he said absolutely. she said she didn’t wanna tell me cuz she thought it’d be a surprise for me. my bf ended up showing me to make sure i did like them and i 100% love it. she got purple and pink balloons, some shaped like sparkles and some butterfly things. she’s the best and it made me tear up that she’s so happy to do this cuz she cares me about me so much. so i texted her telling her that i’m so happy she’s excited as i am and that it means a lot that she’s helping. i told her she’s helping making this magical for me. so i asked for her schedule. her and my sister both have Thursday off next week so im gonna text her & tell her im down for Thursday to get together for a bit. 

i still have no idea fully on when to have my baby shower. i’ll ask for her input but my moms over here saying November and my bf is over here saying Dec 2nd. they both have good reasons for why it should be on the dates. it’s just harder cuz im in between holidays. so they were both making good points. idk. we’ll see what paige thinks. i kinda want dec because Nov is coming up so damn soon. when they come over ill need to put together an invite list. we’ve decided to go with paper/snail mail invites because it’s so much more personal. my bf was kinda meh about that but after he received F & J’s thank yous from the baby shower he was like me… it just felt blah and not personal. so we’re gonna do the more personal invites & paste a QR code for my baby registry that people can scan. Paige is drawing up the invites and i can’t wait to see her ideas for it so far. 🥰

baby has been kicking a lot. today i was out with my sister and i was like “oh she’s active” & she put her hand on my stomach and was able to feel a small kick. i was surprised for one because usually i can only feel her if im staying still, laying down. but we were in the car and she got to feel twice. then tonight i was seeing her kick through my stomach. funny enough i was trying to record it to show my bf and my dress is up, stomach out and i just have my phone sideways recording. my brother walks in asking if i wanted to go grab a dessert and he sees me doing that. it was funny. didn’t get her on camera yet but im determined. 

22 weeks