yesterday bf and i ran some errands & i went to the thrift store & he got me 2 new dresses. dresses that are flowy to wear as my stomach grows. i ate a soup and sandwich to try & eat lighter cuz i was so bloated from the Outback dinner. steak or any red meat is an inflammatory food, along with the rest of it so i was inflamed for sure. still felt it yesterday.
woke up today & got coffee from some new place. we split a breakfast burrito & i got an iced latte as usual. more inflammation 😭 bf has these shorts that are sea green with pink flamingos on them & when we were at the thrift store we saw a dress nearly identical, so we went back today but the size was too big and it was long. i hate long dresses. we walked over to the asian market and i got a banana bubble tea. i’m determined to try every flavor. so far i’ve had Taro, Lavender and strawberry. also got these Lasso crackers with strawberry cream we got them for obvious reasons
we got ingredients to make Bulgogi. my Korean grandmother made it a few times when i used to visit. we also got some Kimchi & steamed buns ^-^
we got these frozen yogurt bars that were buy one get one. tried one for dessert & they’re pretty good. funny enough they are called Yasso like Lasso. bf & i always saying Lasso within words. like Harasso, Lasho, Laugho, big fat Asso…
so he finally told his mom about my pregnancy. i told him he should have told her sooner cuz if felt weird for me seeing her all the time and hiding secrets like that. he told her & showed her the pixelated blob 8 week scan. she was so excited about it. he worries about what she thinks sometimes but he shouldn’t have worried about that. he also told work mates in a group chat. he texted his dad & daughter. they’re all happy & i think he feels happy he finally told the important ones. i still haven’t broadcasted it on social media for friends and family to see because i want to make a special post along side a cute pic with the ultrasound scan. 9 days ^-^
man i had some annoying pains on the left side of my lower abdomen. like bikini line. inside it felt like a twinge, pulling pulsating sensation. it was going on for 2 days & it was like every 7 seconds. i couldn’t sleep over it it was hurting and waking me. it finally stopped today. i had these feeling around 12-13 weeks or something like that. but i’ve googled it and it states it’s that round ligament pain. while the uterus stresses it causes growing pains. i knew that but i still get paranoid it’s something bad. im glad it stopped but im sure it’ll be coming and going quite a bit as she grows.
so glad we finally agreed on a middle name. everything is set and she’s going to be Sophia Lily 🥺 im always worrying about her. worrying if she’s still alive. that might sound negative and dramatic but im such a worrier and i guess maybe low confidence that i always think things will some way or another fuck up for me. but i need to stop thinking so negatively. i need to see this as meant to be. the fact i got pregnant in the first place? wild. the fact it’s a girl? what i’ve wanted if i were to ever have a kid and being able to name it after a long time best friend? crazy. it’s all working out so i need to think positive. but some dark thoughts overtake my mind and i start the google and reddit. hearing awful stories of babies not making it full term+ even when everyone seemed good. it scares me being high risk. but i’ve come so far, made it to my second trimester. nearly almost half way thru it and 2 weeks ago there was a strong heartbeat. i need to. have to stop with the negative mindset. i tell myself she is fine in there, she’s alive and safe. she will be born to a loving family and all will be perfect. those are my affirmations i’ve been trying.
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