Memorial Day

went to the beach for a moment yesterday but only for a sec cuz we had to come home to cook for everyone. stopped to get gas and an iced coffee first

got home and grilled… well, tried to grill but it wasn’t working for some reason so we just used the toaster oven and they still came out good. we made hot dogs, hamburgers and got coleslaw, baked beans and macaroni salad. my sister and her bf came over too. Mr Dabs had a mouse in his mouth and i tried to get it but he dropped it and it ran somewhere. we went to Paulseidons house 

which is boring for me when they play music cuz i’m just kinda alone sitting there like 🫠 we didn’t stay very long just a couple hours. got home and we passed out. i woke up to go to the bathroom in the early morning to find the mouse got into a bucket we left in the bathroom. how did it get in there but not be able to get out i am unsure. but i took the bucket outside and let him go outside in the back. i made sure to shut the bedroom door cuz i was afraid Mr Dabs would drop in on me in the middle of the night. he’s done that before. bringing dead bugs and lizards, dropping them on me at night the fuck. 

blah blah

bf was sick so we didn’t get to do anything fun this weekend. we watched movies, ate Thai food, slept and got Dairy Queen. i got him to watch Revenge. that movie is so good. i love the movie plots where the abused women gets revenge on the men that did it. justice* tomorrow for Memorial day we’re having family cook out. i need to clean the hamster cage as soon as the new bedding comes in the mail. i also bought new fishnets since i wear them so much now. my old ones have ripped holes in them which i like cuz i like the trashy alternative vibe but these were getting ridiculous. it’s raining and my bf went to work today since he hadn’t been able to work for a couple weeks since they switched shops and redid the new place. 

i’m so glad my bf and people he liked at the old shop moved and started new. away from the drama and the shitty boss. so he had 2 bosses. Boss A, cool af and a good hearted person. Boss H, bad hearted person with lots of mental issues and constant drama. so much drama i won’t write because it’s not my business but i will say that Boss A quit there and moved to a new location and started his own tattoo shop with his gf who is an artist, my bf and 2 other artists. Paige still is at the old place but is going to move over with them soon. so Boss A has her left alone, without the majority of the artists except 1 and for now 2.  she’ll have to hire new people that prob won’t vibe with her cuz she’s not right and won’t be as talented. she still has Paige there who is the MOST talented of all of them because she’s out of this world gifted. Boss H can sit alone while her shop will likely fail because she was so interested in making more and more money due to delusions, she lost all her friends… i’m so happy for the good hearted people over at the new shop. i wish we could have went to the grand opening day thing they were having but bf was sick. i still have yet to check it out. i’m just happy for all them. 

⊹

new tattoo shop is having a grand opening Fri 🎉

no sleep

i didn’t sleep for a few days much. i kept trying to but i would keep waking up and being stuck awake. on Saturday Corey & Paige invited us out as well as Paulseidon. we were debating on what to do. we wanted to go to the places with Paulseidon but there was a particular person that was gonna show up that all 3 of us can’t stand. so sadly it deterred me from wanting to hang out. so Corey texts and asks if  we wanna go to the bowling alley for karaoke night……… let’s jut say i did not want to do that lmao like what? first of all he has a 10pm curfew atm so it was 9pm when he asked and my bf said we’d meet them there. we get dropped off by my brother and stayed like 20 mins cuz he already had to leave. he and paige didn’t even get to sing lol. so we pretty much got dropped off for nothing. we left after they left. he did invite us over again but i told him i wanted to be out cuz i got dressed up. so we called Lyft over to drop us off at bar. the bowling alley was just full of mostly old people drunk singing karaoke. this one old lady walked by me, turned herself completely around and looked at me up and down then walked away. wtf old people are so weird sometimes. like do they not have self awareness that they’re blatantly doing that cuz they’re old or have they always been that rude? it might not even been for a negative reason but it’s rude no matter what imo.

anyways after all the outings we had to sleep to be up picked up at 10 30am to head down to this place called Korkd for a brunch. 

it was our friend JF birthday and he was playing there so we headed down with Paulseidon and had brunch. i was on 1  hour of fucking sleep. i was debating on going but i figured the brunch thing would be done around 2pm.

also took this for my photography page

 then we left and stopped by this place called Bluepoint i think. thennnn we stopped to get chicken wings for JFs bday then to his house. by this point i was regretting my decision of going period because it was one place after another. i was dying by time we got the chicken wings. so went to JFs house and i hate to be like this but the party was boring for me. a bunch of kids and their parents. my bf was gonna play music with his friends and i’m like what am i supposed to do? i saw this one girl with her bf. she wasn’t drinking and was standing around while they played music and i just thought to myself how bored out of her mind she’s gotta be. i’m so glad my bf didn’t feel like playing so he was around me a lot. i was so dead tired and drunk i felt like i was floating around in a dream. i got home and me, my bro and bf went to get late night snacks. i got white castle burgers from walgreens. when we came back i heated them up but passed out with them still in the packaging. i woke up after my bf came in the bedroom. he was taking to my mom about me and they are worried about my mania. they were talking about my manic episodes and he told me he was telling her how much he loves me and would do anything for me 🥺 i ate the burgers finally lol then passed out again only to wake up at 7am. not enough sleep at all for someone who hadn’t slept in over a day. finally finally finally i fell asleep for good. 

finally

🖕🏻Bryan Kohberger🖕🏻 has been indicted on 4 counts of murder. the judge ordered a not guilty plea on his behalf since he was silent on being guilty or not. so hearing set for October now they say. i wanna see this piece of shit get what he deserves. idk man. i’m just so sorry for the families i cannot imagine. RIP babies ❤️ 

angels 💕 

this case has bothered me and so many others. something about it feels so close to home.  i can’t explain it but i am so sorry for them and their families. including Bryan’s parents. i can’t imagine how hurt and devastated they are as well.  positive, loving vibes coming from me to every family included ❤️ 

edited to correct info

blog theme up and running

finally got the time ta get my new blog theme finished. =^-^= made it black cat themed 'cause the image I edited for the banner looks like Cat. 

i don't feel very good physically today idk why but I know my bro is gonna ask if I wanna get lunch but I don't feel like I can even eat 😖

my bf was suppose to have this week off  'til Monday when the new shop opens up but he is working with some friends today/tomorrow 😒 I was annoyed but I get it, bills to pay... I wanted to go to the beach yesterday since he did have work off but after staying up all night reading about beach parasites I got too afraid. the boy that visited FL and got a parasite called a Hookworm. bye. no. so I got it all in my head now that I might get a parasite from the beach sand. I'm sure I'll get over it in time. then I read about the guy who was eaten alive by bed bugs in his jail cell and I saw the photos. all these fleas, parasites, bugs and stories about them getting to me why am I even looking further into it? I got to stop. I was bad about bugs last night while I was trying to watch that show Beef on Netflix. I still haven't finished it yet but it's pretty good so far. we're caught up on Yellowjackets and From now.

been really going through it and i can feel some manic episodes coming on every now and then. the stress lately with the fleas and stuff have really gotten to me to the point i broke down nearly talking to my mom. had a couple of sobs some nights. struggling. but i will say it was so nice this weekend to see my friend Corey and Paige again. bf was still playing music but they wanted to go to the bar then head over his apartment. i was letting my bf know and then they both left i’m like wtf. so i called corey and he came back to pick me up. he thought i drove myself but my sister dropped me off. so we all go to the bar and have a couple then head to Corey’s apartment. i got to ride on the back of Paige’s scooter lmao it was probably the funniest thing to see. she told me to put sunglasses on so my eyes don’t get dry so we both had sunglasses on at night while i held onto her tightly. but it was fun as fuck. i wish we had pics. then my bf showed up at corey’s and we had fun then time to get ubered back home. it was nice. i had another nice conversation with Paige and as i was leaving she told me how anytime i ever need her to talk to let her know and she’ll be there for me. that meant so much. Paige is such a beautiful person i am always saying how much i love her on here but it’s true 🥰

yellowjackets 🐝

can’t believe i got my bf to watch Yellowjackets. well it was his idea but his anticipation for the next episode is great. wasn’t sure he’d like it cuz a lot of drama scenes but he doesn’t seem to mind and for once has been paying attention straight through. we’re on episode 2 of season 2 together. but i’m on episode 6 of season 2 solo. 

idk why i did my makeup and decided to watch a crime story about Midsi Sanchez 💔😥 my eyes swelled with tears. worst thing to watch after doing a full set of eye makeup

went over to ML’s for my friend’s birthday + Cinco De Mayo party. i met this one girl there and we swapped instagrams. we were both so on par with the city of PSL & how trashy it is. how you go out in Jensen or Stuart and when the PSL people come you can just tell and you know instantly cuz they trash it up 😂 we both got along pretty well she was so nice. we were like the last ones there and i offered to help clean up the house cuz i always feel bad when there’s a house party and the person has to clean up the next day all hungover but he said he’s all good. so we got Uber and left. then Saturday we went to some place i’ve passed by my whole life that’s been various places that never stayed open. got a few craft beers and then went over to Boardwalk for a moment. i finally got to wear an outfit i had been wanting to wear since my birthday. so i wore it to the Birthday party/Cinco De Mayo. 

then from Saturday i wore a dress i hate cuz i’m tired of wearing the same things

still having a flea issue that i just feel so hopeless with. the trailer on the side my brother stays in with 2 cats has so many fleas. i went in there to get the flea spray and they were jumping on the floor. when i left i had them on my shoes. it’s bad in there and we’ve done so much. we’ve medicated the cats, bombed, sprayed Raid, washed sheets idk i don’t fucking know. so i asked my bf to call the guy back that sprayed the yard and porch to get an estimate on how much it’s cost to spray the trailer and the house inside. see what they say and hopefully can afford it. 

it’s a bad time right now bc bf is moving jobs. his one boss is going to a new place and having his own shop instead of dealing with the drama with the second boss/shop owner. so he’s moving on and getting his own tattoo shop going. so my bf is kinda outa pay for 2 weeks until the shop is ready. he always helped with the pulling out the old tiles and doing stuff with the walls? also Paulseidon is helping with some side work so he can have some money coming in next week. i just want my life back. i want no more fleas i want my family to find a place. i want things to go back to normal but it never seems to. it’s always something, always

i’m losing it

i’m so stressed and depressed. my bf is sick of me talking about fleas constantly. but if he were to get bitten 6 times a day and had his babies affected by then he’d be constantly talking about them and dwelling too. he never gets bit by bugs. mosquitoes, fleas, nothing bites him. and mr dabs is acting okay and scratching here and there but not as excessively as my guinea pigs. if it were the other way around in the scenario he’d be upset too. and i can’t help that i am obsessive about it, it’s who i am when things worry me. he’s being mean about it. 

today i set the flea traps. surprised to see the fleas did go toward the lamp. they didn’t go in the soap water that i’ve seen but they are all over that lamp. i killed like 6 of them at the same time frame cuz they showed up and i poured drops of water on them and they drowned quite fast. i am gonna keep spraying bug sprays and keep washing things. i guess the eggs keep hatching that were around and i think they are getting in my pigs that way. i treated them twice and the medicine is still working according to google. but new ones hatch around the room and they jump onto the animals. i combed the guinea pigs hair and immediately found one and then lost it. idk where that fucker went. hopefully not back on the guinea pig. it says on google that they are more noticeable when they’re dying because the medicine causes them to become hyperactive. still on the fence if that’s the reason i saw one or not. because before i treated them, i saw one on the surface. a big one. i’m just gonna keep combing them daily, spraying around and vacuuming every other day. i combed the cat today and it took me a few brushes before i found another live one. saw lots of dead ones though at least. they weren’t kidding when they said flea infestation are no joke. i feel so helpless and at a loss. idk what else i can do. i just wish they’d stay off of my guinea pigs and hamster. it breaks my damn heart seeing then itchy like that.  it including the fact they can cause illness. just tired of it and starting to lose it. i broke down today. because 2 pets of mine died and i know it was from that after all this. we just never knew it was fleas. these fleas killed my pets by giving them skin problems and internal illness. i cried. i miss my dog, i miss my other guinea pig. i just want to leave this house. i wanna take my pets and go somewhere else

flea infestation continues

so stressed past week with the flea infestation. i’m starting to lose myself. the flea obsession has fully taken over my psyche and seeped into my dreams resulting in nightmares. we’ve bug bombed the rooms, the trailer my brother is staying in, had a guy coke and spray the back porch and the front yard, bug bombed the room jake was always in twice. found another flea on my guinea pig even after treating them with flea medication a second time in a week which is not recommended. still, they’re scratching like crazy and when i picked up my guinea pig to examine her then put her down i saw it again. idk if it’s the same big flea or a different big flea. but i’m sick of this. i found a live one in the cage that i smacked and a dead one. i picked her up again and took a flea comb trying to find it but i couldn’t seem to find that flea again. i tried combing my other pig but she wasn’t having it and she’s much harder to hold and deal with cuz she’s a big gal. my hamster started to act weird too so i watched her a bit and noticed her wobbly behavior and constant scratching. so the next day i went out and bought new hamster bedding as it was time to change it and i saw a flea on top of the bedding in her cage as well. so i’m freaking out. i sanitized and hardcore cleaned the cage as i didn’t with the guinea pig cage. i checked my hamster a little bit today but didn’t see anything idk. some of the fleas are so small and fast. Mr Dabs was treated with medication as well. i combed him yesterday and found a flea on him but today i combed him and didn’t see any. they HAVE to be somewhat dying cuz of the medication. this infestation is so out of hand and it’s so scary because they multiply so fast with so many. i’ve cleaned and everything. my bf won’t pay for the house to be sprayed cuz it’s so expensive but i’m starting to lose hope here. i started to set out some traps i set tonight. on youtube i saw a guy out soap and water in dishes and leave them around the house for 24 hours. so i’m trying that. i need a lamp tho to generate heat and i only have 2 lamps and 1 doesn’t get very warm idk. idk what to do but i’m worried about my pets. i’m gonna comb the guinea pigs every night and hope they go away and the flea medicine is gonna continue time work… unless it’s not at all idk