emotional

my fucking car has another issue. was driving it a couple days ago and realized my battery light came on. my battery is like a year or 2 old so it should be okay. fast forward to Thursday night, i’m driving with my bf to get energy drinks from the gas station and i notice all the lights are on for all different things. 

i pull into the gas station and turned my car off thinking it’d reset it and go away. tried turning it back on and nope. car wouldn’t start. so we were stuck at the gas station calling friends who live close by. our friend J.F came and tried using his battery thing he has but it was dead. so he and bf walked over to this guy parked at the gas station in this huge truck with a boat on the back, “he looks like he’s have jumper cables” they said. they asked him for jumper cables and yup he had some for us to borrow. 

tried restarting it and it took forever but it came on. but on the way home it was dying. so not even in the car 2 mins and it’s dying. my headlights weren’t working either so i was driving with no headlights, a dying car with sporadic speed ups. i make it to the driveway and it died right there. how lucky. Paulseidon showed up with an extra battery but it didn’t fit right in my car. so we do what we always do and contact my sisters bf. so he is buying an alternator and putting it in for me. cuz apparently it’s that. idk i just hope it’s that and no other things. 

went out to the brewery again Friday and got different flights of beers. i love craft beers and ciders. never was much into beers or ciders til i started trying craft beers. i was able to drink the high alcohol ones since i wasn’t driving cuz my car problems. got pretty buzzed here. met up with friends at another brewery and then a restaurant. 

now for news i don’t want to think about… i think Jake is dying. i bought him in 2009ish. so he’s around 14 years or so.  he’s not been doing the best for the past 6 months but he still was with it. took him to vet 2-3 times within those months. got his tooth and stomach issues checked. he was feeling better for a bit. tail was wagging. but declined again with more stomach issues. just yesterday we noticed he was not able to walk. kinda walking like he was drunk. he throws up after eating. he threw up today a few times. i was on constant watch in case he tried going to the bathroom. he goes on floor cuz he’s old and can’t help it. it’s reminding us of how Rusty was all of the sudden. he was fine, then next day declined badly. he has a vet appointment again on Monday. we’re supposed to just drop him off there and i hate that. i don’t want him to be alone waiting to be seen. i’m so scared they’re gonna call us and say we need to put him down.  i just can’t handle it and my mom won’t be able to either. i pet him today and told him he’s a good boy and begged him to stay with us a little longer. i’m so afraid. losing a dog or cat hits worse than any other pets because they live so long with you. it cuts into the soul. i just hope maybe he’s just sick with a bug and the vet just gives him medicine but i don’t think so. i think he’s going to die any time. i just hope i’m wrong.