the rest

the girl I met with the same costume. got the pic. she sent them to my bfs Fb so I got ahold of it.

Halloween fun

got dropped off in downtown stuart last night and met Paige at Harpers (didn't get into a fight this time 😅) and we got a shot and a couple drinks before going to "Emo" night at Lush lounge. I'll get into that in a min... soo Paige has a bf now and he's super cool. he apparently knows my sister cuz he's her piercer and he's like "I didn't know she was your sister" and said many Bice things about her. was pretty cool. he also gave me a Wavy Bar so looks like I'm tripping tonight... anyways, after we got drinks there we took a Lyft to Lush lounge and like... our Lyft driver was interesting. he had a disco light thing set up in the back like a party and a fuzzy bear steering wheel cover. he sounded... I hate to be mean but it's facts ok. his voice sounded funny like as if he was joking and doing it on purpose but I think he night have been special needs. it was pretty awkward but we were super nice to him. he made it sound like it was his first time being a Lyft driver and immediately I'm like uh, are we safe? but he clarified that we were his first pick up of the night and he's been doing Lyft for a long time. as we got out of the car a girl at the front door was like "was he weird?" I made a face like nah and shook my head. he was weird but nice. 

okay so were at Lush (which sucks). they don't serve liquor, just beer and wine, they told a trans person in the past I blogged about that they didn't wanna serve them cuz they were trans and Emo night what a joke. I was thinking they'd be playing like My Chemical Romance, The Used, Brand New and shit but nope, they played Avril Lavigne and Simple Plan like..... so the music sucked, it was too packed tightly and no liquor so we noped out after we met up with my sister. went to our usual, The Goose. it was packeddddd and believe it or not I feel like there wasn't THAT many people dressed up. Lush had more people dressed up including a girl with the same costume as me, so on our way out I was like hey and pointed at both our outfits and she wanted a pic of us together lol. oh and there were furries there, one on a leash but ok.

anyways

Paige's costume was awesome 😂 and it's funny cuz she rode her scooter in that outfit and makeup/wig. I died when she told me and said a big moth or bat hit her in the face. I can't! I'd have paid to see her dressed like that riding a scooter 

I still have a billion pics to post but I gotta leave

my friend is talented af

Paige finished my bfs mask for his Black Phone costume. she did an epic job wow. it was just plain, plastic yellow color and she turned it into the real deal

Halloween

Barbarian is on HBO max I'm so happy about that. Justin Long 🥰 and Bill Skarsgard 😍 

going out Friday for Halloween fun. last part of my costume comes in the mail tomorrow. I found some boots at Platos Closet. I wasn't sure if they were on sale or what at first cuz they were sitting on the side of the cashiers counter but I picked up the second shoe and it had a 10.00 price tag with a size 6.5 so I took them. just need that petticoat and I'm finished. I think I might also be going out Halloween night. wish I had another costume so I don't have to be the same thing but all my costumes are at the storage unit. 

my hair is so ugly and stuff but I'm still going strong not bleaching it. I'm so ready for a new vibe. natural blonde hair and maybe a new look. kinda into like the 70s and 60s horror movie gals vibes. it's kinda like my old style idk. just tired of feeling and looking the same. I like change ups ever few years anyways. and Ive done the black hair, I've done the pink hair... I covered all the hair colors I've wanted in my life so it's time to go back to natural hair. 

the roots so far in 3 months

watching some movie called Inheritance on Netflix while my bfs out playing music. it has Simon Pegg in it so can't go wrong. I also started watching Cabinet Of Curiosity and man, that rat episode was my fave out of the 4 I've seen so far.

1st night out

hmm we went out tonight for the first time since the incident. we were both nervous... his for his reasons and mine cuz I've been depressed and not social in a month or so. when I'm inside and hardly socializing like I use to I become an agoraphobe. it was getting bad cuz when we'd go to the grocery store I'd feel like having a panic a lot of the times that I did my best to hide and control. so I had a racing heart thinking about going out in front of so many people and loud music... after we drove to see the spider house and pick up Phatz chicken we decided to get dropped off at the bar. after we were there and got a drink in us we were solid.

some old timer came up to me at the bar and said "you remind me of Harley Quinn (get that often when I wear any kind of pigtails. half or full) and said I look like I could kill people with a baseball bat. I laughed and said "hell yea, i could" and he thought that was funny. then said I was beautiful and I need to get into a freezer to preserve my youth?????? he came back to me again and said I look like I could kill some people and I said nah, I'm good for now and he laughed hysterically. hmm interesting thought process going on there in father times mind. we got a Lyft back home and ate left over chicken wings and bout to wind down. 

I think Friday or Saturday we're gonna go out with Paige (yay) I haven't seen her in a month... for Halloween shit. I got my clown costume but I'm still needing the petticoat to go under the dress. I have 2 eye looks I'm thinking about doing. so yea

Smile >:)

didn't get to go see Me First & The Gimme Gimmes, but it's okay :( I guess.

today we went to Sonny's BBQ for lunch. haven't been there in a long time and it was so damn good. then we got Dunkin and went to see Smile. uhhh, yea, that movie was terrifying lol. very, very creepy movie but I'm glad. I noticed some little kids coming out of the theater, like 8 years old. sorry not sorry, what the fuck are you doing bringing your children to see this R rated, horror film??? that's so messed up because now they're going to have trauma tonight. shitty parenting seriously. if that movie scares adults I can't imagine what it'd do to a child's mind. pissed me off. anyways....

so far Barbarian was a fun horror, Pearl had outstanding acting & vibe then Smile was scary. next I want to see Terrifier 2. I remember years ago when the actor who plays Art the clown, followed me on Twitter then unfollowed me months later lol wtf for?

tomorrow I'm going to look at another house tour with my mom early... after that, I pick my bf up from shit he's gotta do and then we're going to see this huge spider decoration on this house. grab Phatz chicken on the way back. figured since we'll be in Fort Pierce, might as well stop by the ghetto and grab the best chicken wings on the planet.

hopefully I don't have nightmares after seeing Smile... although I let the curiosity get the best of me last night and looked up "Dr. Gloves" images. scrolled thru 3 pics and xed the fuck out. some weirdo wearing gloves  use to post pics of dead babies on 4chan. like him holding them by the head, squeezing their faces and them being cut open. no ones ever caught him, he just showed his hands in gloves doing that shit to dead infants. fucking weird ass people. but I slept fine so :x

the guy we know whose parents were killed in that crash... well  we saw him today at the bank and my bf gave him a hug. I was in the car... he parked next to me but I didn't notice it was him. someone had recording of that crash from cctv footage and man it was brutal. the car the crashed into them had to be going like 100 mph. just smashed right into his parents and completely obliterated each other. so sad and scary cuz it could happen to anyone.

jfc

this is why you don't fuck around on the road while driving. my  bf texted me that there was a car crash that involved a Tesla and a minivan this afternoon. the Tesla was going at a super high speed and they crashed into the van. 2 people in the Tesla and 2 people in the van died. fucking kids, thinking they're cool driving a Tesla, speeding... now their lives are lost as well as 2 others, who happen to be a friend of ours' parents. my bf told me about the crash and then was like omg it's ********* parents. his parents were out and about on their anniversary. fucking sad, man. my other friend is going over his house to check on him cuz I can't imagine being very sane after hearing news about your parents being killed. feel really bad.

Maxxxine

so I had no idea there was a teaser at the end of the movie Pearl til now. it's called Maxxxine and I guess it follows her character after she kills everyone in the movie X... her trying to gain fame in LA. 

I saw this dude on YouTube talking about how he hopes this one won't just focus on Pearl/Maxine... he wants it to be focused on other character, but dude... it's called Maxxxine. it should be about her?? didn't understand his opinion but whatever. I love the character Pearl/Maxine so I HOPE it's mostly about her which as I said, I don't know why it wouldn't or that we should expect anything else considering the title is her name. I just can't wait!! 

so news about Blink182 reunion came to light the other day, even tho my bf texted me about it like a week or so ago. I guess now it's just confirmed. I stopped listening to them when Tom Delonge was out of the band. my bf and I love Tom Delonge and we're definitely gonna be going to this tour.

I think we're going to see Me First and The Gimme Gimmes next weekend. we just need to find someone to drive us there. I'm sure we'll figure it out.  he told me they are fun live and they have like tiki bars on stage and stuff lol. he hasn't seen them live since he was in his 20s he says.

I started watching Friend of the Family mini series. I remember watching the documentary In Plain Sight and remembering how fucking insane that story is. one of the weirdest, most batshit stories I've ever heard... like it sounds like a made up lifetime movie plot, but it actually happened. man kidnaps lil girl once and gets off the hook cuz the family didn't press charges and then allows her to spend time with him again!! he then kidnaps her AGAIN!! brainwashed her into believing aliens were gonna kill her family... he also had sexual relations with BOTH of her parents. like wtf. I understand manipulation and abuse but I'm sorry... how dumb do you have to be to allow them to kidnap your little girl a second time???  I'm sorry but I will never get that. regardless of the relations the parents had... weird as fuck, but minus that out of the picture... this pedophile kidnaps your child and you allow her to continue to spend time with him. I'm sorry but no amount of manipulation could ever make me allow a fucking creep who kidnapped my kid already to hang around. blows my fuckin mind, man.

was watching Terri Joe's tiktok live last night and she matched up with Madonna and everyone was freaking out. she ended up trending on Twitter last night. I'm just gonna call him her cuz he's in character every lives. but God I love it. I love how she roasts celebs instead of fawning over them cuz they're celebs. she stays in character and roasts 

tiktok

I can't keep doin' this...😭 I keep staying up til like 3am cuz I cant stop watching itzpsyiconic's lives on tiktok. when I say I anticipate these lives every night... I mean I wait to sleep, even when I'm dead tired. I never watch live streams but I watch this. I was in tears laughing tonight. my fyp is literally him, Evan Peters and Dahmer right now. but yea the Terri-verse is wild. it's so creative. literally all of his characters are related and have back stories. the people that come on her live either play along cuz they are playing characters too, banter or get pissed off and offended. his characters roasts the hell out of people omg I love it. he just got off live and sometimes he comes back even this late so I keep checking 😭 i wish he'd come back on... I even saw my comments in people's recorded videos of the lives on my fyp. 😹 so there's Terri Joe the Southern Baptist Christian woman who hates anyone that's not white people and says homosexxyuhs are sinners, there's Amethyst, the emo queen vampire, Jeorgia, the rich white girl who does rails of coke and takes percs. these characters are so fucking funny. I love when he switches the voices up and yells at people in a deep voice omg. don't think he's coming back on tonight tho 😭

on a bad note about tiktok what the fuck are some of these lives. like, I saw this one it was a guy sleeping on a concrete floor with like 4 children. one was on the floor next to him and the other 3 were laying there shivering, laying on the concrete with no blankets. wtf is this child abuse???? they're like from another country and sleeping in some abandoned looking warehouse place. these kids are laying there cold with no blankets, spaced out next to each other on live while another kid is sleeping next to this adult male. it's so fucking weird I reported it! so they do that and don't get banned but itzpsyiconics lives constantly get banned. I just don't get it. don't get me started on the tiktoks that showcase their severely disabled children on lives on breathing tubes. severe child exploitation going on and nothing is done about that. fucked up. 

nice time

I'm trying to upload this pic to IG story and it shows up just a black page. so I thought what if I am the only one who can see the picture and it doesn't really exist to everyone else. so when I post it and look at my story to see how it looks from other people's perspective, there's nothing to be seen. 😹 now that I am thinking further what if the event never existed and in my mind I think I went to see Bayside but I never really did, therefore that picture couldn't exist 😹😹 anyways, im updating the app to see if it fixes it.

last night was nice. I actually spent time with my bf and my mom. we watched Creepshow and hardly paid attention cuz we just kept talking. honestly, mostly them talking. my bf talks so damn much when we drink and smoke weed/dabs. like I can't watch movies with him cuz he just talks and talks. but it's okay cuz my mom and him have lived a pretty crazy life where crazy shit happened and it was interesting watching and listening to them share stories with each other.

my bf made me get up and go to this tiny hole in the wall diner for breakfast that's been here forever. then we went out to get a couple spookspook decorations and I found a Halloween guinea pig hideout. so I had to get it for them. we're going to get batteries for my old film camera that has pics I took from the hurricane we had I think maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I had long, dyed black hair and I was standing in the storm. I wonder what else is on that camera roll. so we're gonna get new batteries for it, take some more pictures with it and hopefully I csn talk him into taking me to Walgreens to develop the film heheh. 

no more money

I'm so upset that they don't want to do tent gigs for a while. that means no money for me. there were things I wanted to do too. I was going to get new extensions in the new hair color I want so when I go to the salon I can tell the girl to match the shade. I also wanted to get a new phone. ughghhdhdy

I want to get my hair done prob as a Christmas gift, but I feel it's a good idea to get the extensions fort before, so she can tell me what she can do to make them blend. that way, I'm not spending 200(+) on extensions that won't match. I want the dirty blonde shade. cuz I think that will blend the best when she highlights my hair. so instead of straight bleaching, I want to grow out my hair and just get it highlighted. I want a natural blonde shade, and so I don't have to upkeep it so often. maybe once or twice a year if I care enough. I just want my natural,  healthy hair back. 😩 

but calculating 2 ponytail extensions = 200.00. regular extensions = another 200.00 (for 20 inch) and about 200 something to get my hair done, but my sister says the girl usually is cool about the price and doesn't charge full price. but just on case say around 250.00 plus tip. 

I also wanted to get the new Samsung 22 ultra phone. was gonna pay it monthly but since we might be switching to t-mobile I might get a deal. but regardless I won't have the money for this stuff for a bit, I guess. my bf told me they wanted to take a break from tent work. but maybe they'll just take October off. seems kinda dumb not to do gigs during November and December. prime time cuz people are all over here for the holidays. sigh

stressful times ahead this month.

went to look st the house and the guy wasn't even there. so, we asked him where he is, and he didn't reply in time so we left. after we left, he said he's 2 blocks away??? first why are you 2 blocks away when you were supposed to already be there. we were a little late, and he wasn't ever even there. so we just said fuck it and left. not dealing with him. I cried a little yesterday, but I quickly shut it down. just sometimes I break a little due to the family stress we're dealing with. just feels like we'll never find a house, nothing works out it seems, and it's been 3 months or something now. we were thinking, maybe people won't wanna move down here after the hurricane. maybe it'll scare people away. the issue is everyone's trying to move to Florida right now, so they're buying up all the houses to either live in or resell. but maybe that will dwindle since the last hurricane that practically wiped Fort Meyers. I really need to hit up my friend, to ask if her house was okay. everyone was flooded. this weekend getting the storage unit for the rest of our stuff to give the trailer back we borrowed. IDK. I'm beginning to feel we won't have anything by Thanksgiving.

happy birthday mommy. were getting her her favorite food for dinner tonight. she loves Thai food so we're going to bring it to her. 

I only got like 8 hours of sleep in 2 days so I had to sleep in today. then we are going to look at more houses today... looks like the prices are going down again at least.

I had a dream that I drove my car into the river/ocean with my phone and then drove my mom's car into the water because of a manic episode. I kept telling people I did this cuz of a voice in my head telling me to and I didn't know how to tell my bf cuz I had no phone. so I had to use my laptop to message him and tell him what I did. so weird but sadly not off brand for me.

random thoughts

after watching Dahmer and seeing people talk about their confusion as to how his dad still visited him in jail, hugged him and sat by him in interviews, I thought about what I'd be like. I even took a poll on Disturbans channel where he asked "would you stand by your child if they were guilty of murder or not". most people were on the same page as me and some weren't. I saw tiktoks saying "why would he hug him?", "why would he visit him in jail" etc etc. well, thing is it shouldnt even be a question in my opinion. I would love my child no matter what they've done big or small. I would agree they should be in jail and accept the consequences. but I couldn't stop loving them no matter what. I feel like your child is always your child. so I can't understand those that could just throw their love away regardless of what they've done. I'm not a parent myself but I can understand a parent's love for their child is huge. I asked my mom this before a couple of times in a couple of different ways...ie) if she'd kill me if I were evil (thinking of the movie The Good Son) and she said no, she couldn't bring herself to kill me no matter how evil or demonic I was. then I've asked if I murdered someone would she turn me in. her response was, it depends on the reasoning but would encourage me to turn myself in. therefore, she wouldn't stop loving me no matter what I've done or who I am but would encourage me to face the consequences. I also could see her trying to understand why I did it and maybe try to make an excuse, though. because she loves her kids so much she'd do anything for them... she has. that speaks love unconditionally. 

I know for a fact if say my bfs daughter had done something bad, he'd think the same way my mom.

idk just thinking about how deep and strong family love can be. so I didn't quite understand the comments from people saying otherwise.

Dahmers father said that he wouldn't agree if his son came out as gay to him and he'd try to change him by taking him to those conversion camps to change his ways. which I don't agree with and I will never ever ever understand a parent who shuns their child or refuses to accept who they are gay, trans or whatever. thats so fucking weird to me. you either love them for them no matter who they are or you don't truly love them at all is kinda my take. I don't doubt he loved his son though. I saw the interview of him crying while reading the letter he wrote to the judge. sad stuff.

Hurricane did not affect us. we just got periodical wind gusts. my bf and I actually ate this edible chocolate bar that contained magic 🍄 and watched movies. just had a chill night with spooky wind, The Munsters (Rob Zombie version), Lasso and Mr Dabs. I am sad I dropped some dab juice? idk what to call it but it dropped on Lasso and burned his fabric I'm super sad about that. my bf said well get him a cool little patch to put over his leg where it melted on him. my friends live over on the West coast and they got slammed by the hurricane. I saw videos of cars underwater and homes flooded. I hope they're okay. 

today we went to the grocery store to use the Coinstar machine to get money from our saved change and it got stuck saying our coins were safe but it's unavailable and we need to ask for assistance. so we asked one lady and she didn't know what to do, she asked another lady and she tried figuring it out but couldn't, so she got the manager. the manager straight blamed us that the machine got stuck saying we out the coins in too fast. first of all, we use it all the time and never have issues and second, he's blaming customers which is super rude and unprofessional. he couldn't figure it out either so he called assistance over the phone and preceded to blame us over the phone. I'm like we followed the instructions and added the coins in as we always do. it wasn't even counting our change so it was already messed up. fuckin' rude ass manager. I was hoping my bf wasn't gonna be rude back cuz he's got the worst temper 😹 but he was calm about we just talked out loud to each other about how it's rude of him to treat the customers that way. whatever it wasn't a big deal... a second guy came and fixed it and we got our 13.00 back 😹 

apparently our storage unit sent an email and said they were gonna sell all of our stuff if we didn't pay the monthly storage rent... we had called back and was like wtf?? cuz we are all paid up. they said we were good and everything's fine, it's just a note that gets sent out to everyone. I'm thinking that's so fucked up to scare people like that. our whole life is in that storage unit still. gonna have to get another one too cuz we need to give back that trailer that has our other stuff in it we borrowed from my bfs friend. we've had it for too long now. still struggling to move to a place. the place we tried said no pets. :( still hoping my family can move to a place. sigh

going to get Indian food tonight at least