party

we were invited to a friend of ours friend's birthday party this weekend. these people have money, so there was a whole set up. they paid my bf and our/their friend to play music. they had this little RV that had 2 gals serving alcohol. they had this drink the owner of the home made it was a pomegranate beverage. it was so damn good I wanna make it too. I was super awkward though half of the time because I didn't have anyone I knew there that was a party guest. so I sat there and tried acting like I was chill and not anxious. there was a lot of different party guests. a variety of people I should say. I don't know these people that were throwing the party but I did talk to the wife and she is super cool. we were in her room talking at one point and she brought out this cute little box with all kinds of weed and different kinds of utensils. she is a pot pro for sure. I was told her and her husband are Marijuana connoisseurs. my friends showed up half way through thank God. I finally felt less awkward. toward the end of this party as we were packing up my bfs music gear I felt sick. like my stomach didn't hurt but I felt really not good. I mean, I did down like 7 of those pomegranate drinks and a Jameson and ginger and other paraphernalia. when we got back to my friends house I really didn't feel good. like I wanted to leave and go home to lay down but I tried to mask it. once my friend Paige left I was like poking my bf to signify that I wanted to go home. but the party was really nice and I even asked the lady if I could take home some of the balloons. 

food extravaganza

we are so much food yesterday. we went to Too Jay's mostly cause they have this robot that delivers food to the tables to help waiters. I didn't get to see him in action but I did see him briefly. a girl I know that works there gave us a discount too so our meal was cheap! after that we went to happy hour at Conchy Joe's and I got even more food. I got mussels and had a couple drinks. then we went to Crawdaddys for dinner and got pasta dishes that were bomb! so much food but now it's time to go back to healthier eating wah.


😭 

I wanted to keep going out but my bf passed out... so I just took an edible and a sleeping pill and passed out too but before that here's me with my bf passed out in the back 😂

Kenny fuckin Powers

I believe I have around my newest obsession. Danny McBride has bee one if my favorite actors for a really long time. if I had to choose top 2 people in the entire world I wanna meet and party with I'd say Danny McBride and Justin Long. those 2 I feel like would know how to party and have a blast with. so I started this show he's in and wow what a fucking wild ride that show was. it's so fucking amazing I love it. I'm so obsessed that I've been bugging my boyfriend to get me this Kenny Powers pop figure. I love that character so much. crush unlocked: Danny McBride 

I'm so excited about this I gotta blog about it. my friend Alice is drawing up my Mars Attacks ray gun tattoo for me. I've always wanted something with the Alice Snow flair! she drew the first one and it was so fuckin dope! I showed my boyfriend and he wants to get that tattooed now. I'm getting my hand/side of my thumb tattooed with the gun. she's gonna draw up 3 of them and I think I'll take all 3 to my friend that is tattooing it for me to see which one she finds is the best fit. I might still get the first one she drew up tattooed just somewhere else because it's gonna need a bigger placement than my hand. she's the seriously the coolest person I've met online. we have a lot in common with our likes and interests and I know she loves Mars Attacks as much as I do. love that gal! I'm really excited about this. I'll post once it's tattooed. she'll be selling the art too on her shop which I'll link when everything is finished 

on a happier part of yesterday... my bf and I went to this BBQ fest in Vero Beach. what a fuckin drag tho. we waited in line for like 30 or 40 minutes that was only a line to take orders. after you stand in that line you go to the next line to wait more to get your food. so we said fuck that and just left all together. i was really looking forward to eating that BBQ but we ended up going to Wasabi for Thai food. before we stopped at Pierced Cider and listen to this... The Island Boys were sponsored there and they had a Tiktok video of them promoting Pierced Cider only to find out The Island Boys' friend killed a little kid. I mean the TIB didn;t do anything, but their friend that lives with them did. soemthing like that I heard. I saw they even had some Island punch drink there to help promote them. anyways after that we stopped by Phatz chicken place for a snack for later. everything was grand until the bar. but aside that trash I had a good day. /edited for photos and more text

just wanna talk about this

I have something I wanna get off my chest. last night out I was preyed on by a couple looking to groom drunk women to sleep with or whatever the fuck, dude. you are a predator if you specifically go out to hunt for drunk, vulnerable women. knowing that we are at a bar, drunk and easily persuaded to do things that would never ordinarily cross your mind.  this girl I thought was my fucking friend just wanted me to fuck her and her creepy husband. and I'm so fucking sickened and uncomfortable that I even entertained the thought. I was hammered. flirty with her... i think even kissed in the bathroom stall. All things that are not okay but to me was just typical drunk girlfriend bullshit ya know. clearly more was on her mind. I keep beating myself up for even entertaining the thought. I'm mad at myself honestly. but what I'm even more upset about is that this creepy couple go to bars just to scour for drunk girls in not clear minds. it's so predatory and flat our creepy. toward the end of the outing I caught myself and was like... wtf am I even doing. this isn't me. that's why I feel so dirty and uncomfortable. cuz I'm not like that nor would I ever do anything like that. I feel so creeped out like I wanna shower a bunch of times. so I immediately tell my bf. I tell him everything and he was furious. not at me, but at them... mostly her. we were friends man. my bf feels betrayed by her and rightfully so. I deleted her and her husband from my Facebook friends and right away I get a fucking creepy message from her husband. I just blocked him and didn't say anything... but when I told my bf he sure as hell was not gonna let this go. he messaged her and told her off. told her to keep her husband away from me or else he will beat the shit out of him. do I condone any of my bfs actions or words. fuck no. I don't want him to get in trouble or anything stupid. but I can't control him. he stands by what he said about ever running into them again it won't be good. she made immature responses and tried to throw me under by saying she has screen shots from me? like so fucking what lmao. first of all I didn't see anything in my message history. second I  told my bf everything that happened and how I shouldn't have let it get to where it got. am I in the wrong for allowing their behavior and even participating in flirting with the idea. absolutely. but what I do know is that I was so fucked up last night and they know that and that's why they go to bars to do this shit. they know women are vulnerable and easy to persuade. I want all people to be cautious of people like them. predators. please stay safe and don't mess with that shit. you'll regret it and feel gross. I should have listened to 2 of my friends about them. they tried to warn me and tell me and my bf that they do this. but it never crossed my mind that they, mostly her, was a weirdo. I just don't feel comfortable knowing they prey on drunk women. I don't like it at all and I just hope no one falls victim. I don't even wanna go to the bar for a while. I just feel disgusted. I should have done things differently for sure and I am trying not to beat myself up over this. I spent the whole night in my bfs bedroom sobbing and explaining everything to my friend. I missed out on hanging out with my friends the remainder of the night cuz I couldn't stop crying. just an all around bad ending of a night. makes me just wanna hug my bf and not let go. something feels... off for me. I just feel idk like I said....dirty. I also saw her true colors when we were in the bathroom and someone tried to open the stall door. she legit treated the person like shit. yelling at them saying rude shit. like wtf is wrong with you? you'd think with all that plant bullshit and yoga she does shed be less aggressive. I'm just bummed that I thought she was my friend and instead turned out to be a real weirdo. but I can't stress this enough. please please please if you're reading this be careful. even if you think it's just friendly conversation. just be aware and be careful when drinking. all I wanna say on this shit I wanna move on.

edit: a lot of people have come forward to me about them. and some other bad things. 

hair day

today I am finally doing my roots. I like giving it a 2 month or so break before I touch them up again. I bought some pink and blue hair dye to put pink and blue highlights in my hair. so bored of plain blonde at the moment. not sure if I wanna do the streaks one color on each side or a blended situation. I am leaning toward the blend. so it's a bit less Harley Quinn ;x not like I don't get those comments anyway when I go out with pigtails. every time I go out wearing pigtails someone makes a Harley comment. I use to love it cuz obvious reasons, but after a while it gets annoying. Pigtails doesn't equal Harley and Harley at all times.  I got the same dye I used when I dyed my hair pink. this stuff it pretty temporary and washes out after a couple of washes. the remaining color stuck is easier to get out too. so I am doing the temp version. unless I become obsessed and love it then I'll get semi-perm. dyes  I took some antihistamines before I do this. I get super itchy every time. I miss the days in my early twenties when I didn't have this reaction. but pain is beauty ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ I like having colorful hair for the fair. it reminds me of cotton candy~

my sister's 21st birthday was a few days ago. so me and my bf met her up at the local bar so we could give her the birthday gift my bf picked out and let her finally meet some of my friends. when I tell you that bitch can drink... she slammed like 6 or 7 drinks. and I mean downed them. it was hilarious to see her at a bar for the first time. walking around asking people what drinks they were drinking, walking across the bar and ordering drinks. I have video of her sitting across the bar just waiting to get her order taken. it cracked me up. some people are funny to watch in general... but this was pretty funny (in a happy way). I recorded it to send to my mom so she can see my sister in action.

she got so drunk that as we left, she was crying over some drama my friends are having with each other. her.bf was walking her to the car and she just sobs and drunkenly expresses how upset she is that someone was mean to my friend. 😂

my bf and I went to Dennys after my sister and I parted ways around 2 30am. idk how I stayed awake. I was dying by that time, waiting for our food to come. I could NOT sleep the night before so I was awake all night, then all day then all night again until like 6am. I finally got my sleep on Saturday. my brain doesn't shut off ever. so I'm laying there thinking about a million things at once. I tried sleep meditation videos... nope.

I don't know why. either mania or hormones but today I feel so angry. while I was driving home to tend to my guinea pigs I felt the urge to slam my car into the one in front of me. I imagined it and everything. I just wanna punch someone. that's weird and horrible. but I feel like I have some much pent up rage. I don't like it.