hdr


lnk

December 29, 2021

:(

super depressed and tried to make myself feel good about myself
notice the basket of dirty clothes in the back. I did end up forcing myself up to do the laundry today at least. 

It's so bad I don't wanna see anyone. including people I love... friends. and when I do, I end up bringing them down and in a bad mood because I'm in such a depressive state. so I just have been keeping my distance alone. I have neverrrr been able to fake smile or pretend to be happy and social. it's always painfully obvious cuz I can't fake it.  it's actually more painful to pretend to be happy than it is to just be sad itself. 

idk what to do... but I have been trying to do little things here and there... like sadly, doing laundry was a big step. small but still... showering is a task, cleaning... no motivation to do anything. I need to get out but it's hard to bring myself to do any of it.

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