It's so bad I don't wanna see anyone. including people I love... friends. and when I do, I end up bringing them down and in a bad mood because I'm in such a depressive state. so I just have been keeping my distance alone. I have neverrrr been able to fake smile or pretend to be happy and social. it's always painfully obvious cuz I can't fake it. it's actually more painful to pretend to be happy than it is to just be sad itself.
idk what to do... but I have been trying to do little things here and there... like sadly, doing laundry was a big step. small but still... showering is a task, cleaning... no motivation to do anything. I need to get out but it's hard to bring myself to do any of it.
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