balloon animals

going to get my car key cut tomorrow and I will just program it myself. I was ready to pay like 200.00 for them to cut and program it but the key I bought off amazon gave me instructions with it to program it myself. do you understand how excited I am to finally have a key that doesn't have super glue, tape and diy bead buttons lmao. it always snaps off too. it's been that way for like 2 years now so I am sick of it and finally getting it taken care of.

I m going to party city this weekend. I plan on buying some more balloons so I can make balloon animals for my onlyfans content. I have only a couple left right now. I practiced them for a while when I was tripping on acid lmao. I got kinda decent at it. sad memory tho, my friend Brad, I remember meeting him at the dollar store parking lot with my bf... I gave him a penis shaped balloon animal as a joke. he took it and then 2 days later was found deceased :( anyways, yea I was practicing them and making little dogs and flowers for my friends. I am not that good at them but I do okay 😅

I also set up my domain name with streamlabs so that I can start streaming soon. I have this annoying ass microphone that I need set up. I want a new one... pink one to match all of my pink razer products. it's on my wishlist if you feel like helping me out anyone 😁 but yea the one I have now just is such an annoying situation to deal with. also need to get new speakers for this laptop. the ones I have don't seem to get very loud. so yea I am almost ready to stream I was gonna do it this week tbh but then I realized ya need to be able to hear me 😂 watch my stream @ anjelic.tv and follow me on twitch too. I'll probably just do IRL streams since I suck at games and it's embarrassing. I heard too about hot tub streams. which is fucking bazaar but I could do that sometimes 'cause my bf has a hot tub.

I think I'm gonna trip🍄  tomorrow maybe tonight and practice my balloon animal skills again I wanna be some what better before I do them for an audience lol

I have a list

a goal list that I need all done asap. I only have 1 checked off lmao. my car key has been broken for literally 2 or 3 years. everytime it snaps off I super glue it back into the key fob. but its: starting to no longer work that way. it looks so busted. it's super glued, packing taped, super glued with beads on it to work the buttons that now csnt function... I finally bought a new car key off of Amazon. once it arrives I have to go to a hardware store and have them cut the new key and program the key fob. this is gonna cost be about 75 - 100.00 sucks. 

I need to windshield wipers badly as well. most of my plans are to save up and get my car entirely fixed up. I wanted to get a new one... but this car is paid off and the engine is amazing still. so it's best to just fix it up.

I need to get back to my low carb eating because I am gaining weight back I definitely do not want or should have. 😞 I had lost a total of 15 lbs but went back up like 6 more. sad days. I was feeling confident so I wanna eat better again. laid off the partying a bit too. moderation is key.... omggg "key" lmfff

 one of my guinea pigs is getting better at being picked up. the other one... hard no.

bought a new webcam for streaming. I'll still be using my dslr for twitch streaming but the batteries just don't live very long so I got an upgraded version of my old webcam. 

my bf is sick so that sucks. it's Friday too 😔 I hope I'm not next cuz I've been with him all night and day... sharing joints and what not. 

 I really need to start saving money and making more because my car needs a lot of work and I think I might fix it and sell it to buy a new one idk. my scion is a 2006 so it's pretty old. 

gotta go pick up our Chinese food dinner.

last night

pretty fun last night if you ask me. 

today I saw a car hit the back of another one at a stop light. gave me a flashback when that car hit the back of me last month cuz someone hit them which made me hit the person in front of me. 

I want to start twitch streaming. I need to buy a new webcam though. I have my dslr but I want a webcam too cuz the battery dies so fast on the dslr. and my brother keeps using my old one for school. so I need a new one. ever since the virus shit webcams are hard to come by cuz people are buying them all up. looking into them today. 

follow my twitch account twitch.tv/anjelic I think I will buy another domain name for it. I recently changed my usernames to match and bought a new domain name for my blog here. no more bunny...its kitty now lol. I decided it cuz its a nickname for my birth name name. 

my friend and I last night were talking about twitch and I asked him if he streams and he said he wants to. so it made me wanna take the dive and start too. I haven't streamed in so long so I am shy about it. but I'm excited to start using my twitch account for streams.

insanity

I dont even know where to start so I'll just started with the morning of Friday. hungover as fuck, tired and feeling very unready for why I had to get ready. I watched the handmaid tale new episodes, got up & threw clothes on. no shower no makeup just threw on clothes, pigtails was about all the effort I could put into my appearance. we headed to walmart and grabbed some shirts for my bf's friend R who came down for Robs funeral. went to a bar on the way, chatted and had some drinks so that we weren't early to the funeral.

when ever I am in a position like this. I tend to dissacoiate from what the reality at the moment. I wanted to be there for my bf who was just a complete wreck by time we got to the church. sunglasses on the entire time. he just lost it. emotions so uncontrollable and all I wanted was to be okay for him. I've never been good at these things.

beginning was rough at the church. after the service ended, me, my bf and his friend G went behind the church to smoke a blunt. lol wrong place I know but I'm sure God would understand.

so here's when things went fuck up. decided to leave the funeral to stop by a friend's place for some special K. we do that... everything's fine. took a hit and a half of acid too. we just didn't care, ya know? after the funeral it's just....

we end up leaving in G's rental car and headed to the head shop. anyways, as we are in the midst, we realize how far down the road we actually went lol. almost ended up on highway. my bf loses the K... so we have to go back to other friends house to grab it. as we turn around, G notices a signal going off on car saying the key is not activated. it's the push button to turn car on but you have to have the key fob on you for the signal. can't find it anywhere... this is a rental mind you so we really need to find this key fob. we stop at the grocery store parking lot to look for the key all around in car. nothing. still baffled how we're driving around when it says there's no key activated... we get back in the car & retrace the steps back... turn around again back to the same spot we parked in the grocery parking  lot look all around again for the key... looking on the street as we drove. nothing.

so we drove back to friends house and wondered why he wasn't answering the door. so we're lurking around with flash lights in the grass and under cars. no one is answering the door so we're like wtf.... we were AT THE WRONG HOUSE prob disturbing a family...ok so back into the car and find the friends house to look for the key there. the friend has left... SIGH.... so we try and get him back to look in his car we took a ride in but can't get thru to him. we find the door is unlocked finally...we take a look around inside...no key.  by the way we felt uncomfortable rummaging through his gfs house when she wasn't home. felt awkward. I'm searching the grass all over with flash light and whatever for an hour or more.... my bf....steps in DoG sHiT! to top off the already ongoing stress that was happening.

we decide to just get back in the car and just retraced our steps as we are in the car...my bfs like "I found the K" immediately after we pull up to the street that takes us on main road...there they be... sitting in the main road. G darts out of car and grabs the keys with on coming truck ugh. we get the key found the K. things were looking up. minus my boyfriend's dog shit shoes. we stop at a gas station to grab some things and meet up with friend R. at this point I'm tripping. it's kicked in. i walk into the gas station to grab a couple Trulys and candy. my boyfriend goes into the bathroom to try and wipe his shoes off. he comes out and says there was no paper towels or anything to clean them off. of course. so we get back in the car and I start feeling so overwhelmed by all the hecticness I just wanna go home. the acid wasn't helping this. I felt anxious and just freaked out. friend G, R and another guy were talking outside the car while I was just done. I wanted to go home. finally we get in the car to go to McDonald's. the McDonald's line was out the ass and super slow. so we leave and decide to get stuff at another gas station. it's closed...... sooo we decide to go to walgreens since they have more food options. my bf walks in with no shoes on lmao. we all 3 look like a bunch of crazies. walked in and grabbed food. FINALLY. we were back at my bfs and I just lay down, open my sour patch kids and watch Futurama. I felt soooo happy to finally lay down. my bf and his friend are out there doing K. A bit later on he stumbles in and just... sobs. the pain he was expressing was so hard to watch. I cried and tried everything to console. to top it off, a picture of me my friend Brad who died last year and my bf popped up the SAME day in my fb memories that all of this went down wuth the funeral. weird coincidence and we both were like...this definitely is all tied together in some weird way. the whole night just felt so strange, insane and in a way all worked out in the end. my bf lost his best friend... covered in all of his tattoos he's done for him. I couldn't help but cry for him and the pain he felt. I love him so much it was really hard to see. we talked all night until day light.

this post shows me that no matter what bad things happen in life you just have to keep going. I actually got a tattoo to remind myself of this The Show Must Go On. where ever Rob is  now I just hope all of the pain he felt is diminished and he can finally be at peace. 💓