took a break from making OF content this past week due to my friend's death and being there for my boyfriend who has been having a hard time. though this weekend will be rough... I wanna try to get some new content put out tomorrow before that. 

I had to buy a new selfie light(s) since mine kept breaking. I literally glued the cover on it twice with super glue but I kept dropping it and it kept coming off. so I just bought a new one for my phone and a new stand one to get HQ pics. 

I wanna start streaming again. it's been years yea? I have had a twitch account for so long and decorated it but have yet to start actually streaming on it. that should be soon once I get back on my medication. 🤞

RIP

I know i posted this photo already but I cant find the others. I'm so depressed. I'm going to miss you Rob. I love you  

get better soon rob

my friend had a heart attack the other day. got an update from my boyfriend today's, so far he woke up today. that's good. he's one of my bfs best friends and I hope that he gets better asap. found a blurry ass pic of us

I just hope he will be okay and get better soon. 

my medication I need is 100.00 ugh. I can tell I have been a bit off lately and my bf says he notices it. haven't been on it for a few weeks. so Thank you e eryone so far that has subbed to my Onlyfans cuz its helping me and my money issues for necessities. 🥰 

woke up from a really scary dream, dammit. probaably from watching all those horror films yesterday. but speaking of, i recommend the following horror movies i watched;

M.O.M (mothers of monsters) = pretty unsettling

Unhinged = fast paced and thrilling

The Loved Ones = fucked up

i need to try and sleep again, have to be up and ready tomorrow evening for another wednesday of open mic my bf's plays bass for. it's cute.

😕 lets hope i can fall bac asleep now with no more scary dreams

Them

finished watching the Amazon prime series Them. such a heart breaking, fucked up, scary and really good show. I recommend it.

went to dinner for our anniversary on Saturday. we had Indian food ugh so good. my bf also bought me this doll I wanted that has a bunny outfit. came with a bunny case that carries the doll and some other cute accessories. 💕 

I weighed in Thursday and calculated so far I have lost 15 lbs. prob gained a couple  back though from the weekend oop. 

saving up my money. need a new tire since the tread is showing. sucks but I believe it's just one I need. I also need to get an alignment and still need my sisters bf get the parts to fix the back of my car. 

that was a wild ride

my bf and my anniversary of 2 years is Monday. so as you do, you wanna celebrate 🍾 

2 hits of acid and then some K. I've done all these things already together for the dissociative feel and out of body experience being in your own world thing... but this time I had a full on bad trip. my first ever super bad trip. I wanted out so badly I thought I was dying. I kept seeing the TV with sharks and deep oceans and I bawled my eyes out. I was so terrified I begged to get out of this k hole. last special k trip was bonkers. but this time I panicked. after my bf led me off the bad trip and led me out to happier place things were amazing. I sobbed over cute animals, felt like my bf, me, Lasso, Mr Dabs cat were all in my own little world. was a very pleasant and happy place I wouldn't wanna be elsewhere. 

2 years of putting up with my crazy ass bullshit. couldn't ask for a better love.