dream vs reality = idk

I woke up sweating in my sleep like crazy. this is the 2nd time in a while. this weekend I had a party filled weekend. so I slept super long yesterday night and yesterday all day until my boyfriend brought home dinner after work. as he was getting ready for work, I was still sleeping but I thought I heard him whispering to me knowing he left. I kept trying to open my eyes but they wouldn't open. I couod feel myself saying stop stop. it was weird and creepy. so I guess I was still dreaming cuz I thought I got up and saw he came back or didnt leave yet... but he was already gone. strange... then I had the full on dream that I got up to drive home but I obviously didn't. but in dream state I did drive home, got lost and transported to another planet??? like I left earth and was told I had to leave everyone and everything behind, including my mind. I was going to have a different conscience and a different life on a different planet. was so real and so... scary. I was relieved when I woke up and realized it wasn't real. 

after sleeping all night Saturday, all day Sunday and just now all night again I had more vivid dreams that I couldn't figure if they were real or dream. I thought I was laying sideways at the end of the bed while my boyfriend was asleep. I was watching tv and eating Graham crackers. which sounds realistic for me but guess that didn't happen. woke up and had to take my shirt off and put a towel down cause the bed was wet from sweating so bad. when I go through dreams like these I get super worried I'm going to die or something bad will happen and I can't see my bf or family. hate that. and if it isnt really happening soon I don't want it to happen ever :( 

ouch

 so0o I got wAsTeD last night ugh. after a night of harassing my friends which I feel bad about, I fell on the concrete and now i can barely walk. lol I think I need to be more careful these days since I am back on medications cuz it seems to be amplifying the alcohol effect. also maybe my 12 lbs weight loss woooo. I am manic as well. i have a love/hate relationship with my manic phases.

fair 2021

went to the fair opening day. the fair on lsd for the first time. let me just say sensory overload. kids everywhere, lights everywhere... I had to take a couple of breaks with a beer cause sensory o v e r l o a d. if you ever feel like being made fun of my middle school kids, the fair is for you! lol

a few of the rides didn't work and lights were messing up at the fair due to power issues. so one of the carrnies told us to keep our ticket and use it over and over since the ticket booths were down...so free unlimited rides. was cool he told us that in secret. cuz my god the fair is expensive! we saved about 80.00 due to no need for tickets since we scanned the same one over n over lol.