sigh

 going to this open mic thing my bf is hosting tonight and I really don't want to go. like I'm just gonna sit there with anxiety by myself cuz he'll be busy playing music. should only be 3 hrs and I hope it goes by fast. I'm so tired. been awake since 8am. i watched some really weird fucking movie called Skins (Pieles). then a decent one called Cadaver.  anyway, supposedly this is gonna be a weekly thing every wednesday. makes me annoyed. I better get more psychedelics for this dammit. 😁

gotta go finish my hair then leave.... sigh..... 

I just threw up while i was driving wtf

boring

finally got a new car battery. hated being stuck at home all week. this weekend I went in a friend's hot tub and got crazy bruises all over my legs and arms from smacking around the tub. I'm hurtin'. we got our Halloween costumes. I hope the size is correct and the outfit fits well cuz I won't have time to return it for a different size. 

everything is sucking right now

 so my phone is off cuz the bill. my bf tried texting me 10 times today but i didn't get them because my phone was off and didn't know it. then he called me somehow which I can't figure out how cause my phone was off... but he told me his car battery too is not working. so both of our cars have broken batteries. he's calling AAA tonight... I am having them come tomorrow to jump my car so I can get it to the car place I got my last battery. my battery has a warrantee for 5 years and my  battery is only 3 years old. so they should swap it out for free. I told my bf the same info 'cause we both have the same battery brand. wtf tho that ours both randomly messed up like that and we have the same brand. 

so I gotta do that and figure out my phone to get the data turned back on. thank GOD it wasn't turned off yesterday when my car didn't start at the gas station. 

exhausted

barely slept the past 3 days or so. had late party nights, going out and waking early and shopping around. we went to the Halloween store Friday to look for my Bunny mask I keep trying to obtain. still out of stock. went out Friday night and got trashed but of course ;o) and like 3 friends passed out at the house. once they left we went back out again Saturday night, drunk off my ass. then Sunday my bf had work and I ran around shopping with my sister and mom 'cause I was bored. once he got off work he then had his band pals over to do a photoshoot which they made me get in a couple. >_> ugh. I was so tired at that point from the previous late nights and early mornings. but of course they wanted to go out and grab drinks so I tagged along and was beyond exhausted. the night was okayish. I wasn't my normal drunken upbeat self though. 

so I left home this morning and followed my bf to the gas station... as he was leaving the gas station to head to the tattoo shop, my fucking car wouldn't start. so I texted him like don't leave yet my car isn't starting. no answer as I watched him drive off  >:| so I called him like 20 times and no answer. so I panicked and almost cried so I called my sister... she tried messaging him too. no reply. so I sat there at a gas pump and had a panic attack. I texted my friend Paige and asked her if he was in work yet and if so tell him to call me. he FINALLY called back, his notifications were off of course. so he comes back and helps me jump my car. it ended up working after like 15 - 20 mins. so I made it back to my house. I'm gonna have my sister's bf check the battery. might need a new one. sigh. 

one funny, nice thing. this weekend we went out to Home Depot 'cause my bf was getting stuff to make some craft project or whatever. I went in lookin' hella plain but my hair was in 2 space buns. normal, average clothes (imo), no makeup... and some elderly woman was like "you look like a little doll. like you would have a wind up thing in your back. she kept going on and on about the doll thing and said with my little backpack and all was cute and doll like lol it was funny, but yea I looked meh that day so it was nice to hear. I also lost 2 more lbs. so I lost 8 total so far. 

I really need sleep. 

hair fail

bleached my roots finally yesterday and I notice pieces of my ends? of hair are breaking off. oop. I should have been more dilligent in not letting any bleach get on my already processed pieces. So I am going to be conditioning a lot. needs to grab some leave in conditioner and more argan oil and try not to use any heating tools on it for a bit.

people make me so sick. I am watching That Chapter on YouTube and have been binge watching his videos for a week now. He's such a good crime YouTuber. dude is in a league of his own. but what's annoying is when murderers rather kill their spouses than get a divorce??? I just don't get that. so many fucking weirdos out there man. I am so paranod out in the world but I think that's a good thing 'cause I am aware. but I pretty much think everyone is up to no good. on my way home from my bf's this morning I noticed some guy parked in the Savannah's nature trail parking lot. like, what was he doing? hiding a body?? people may laugh but it happens. sometimes I think people that have been behind me for a while on the road are creeps stalking me. yea I think all my life being so into true crime stories it's got me overly aware of everyone!

period started. cramps are severe. back to low carb eating after 3 days of eating shitty. gotta get back on track!!! going to watch ome movie called The Dark Red and finish my coffee.

today is my mom's birthday~~ got her Chanel perfume and some other bits and bobs. tonight I plan on staying home and taking some magic mushrooms and relax. might play a bit of Overwatch. I wish I had a gaming chair here, but it's at my boyfriend's. might get another one to have home at as well. can't wait til Halloween, my bf and I are going as Roger Rabbit and Jessica Rabbit. I'm gonna be Roger he's gonna be Jessica :D I have been low carb dieting for 4 weeks now. I lost like 4 - 5 lbs on week 3. I want to lose like 15 more though. so in a couple months I should be at my goal weight. going to finish this movie I am watching called Rupture. ✌️